Hidden Flames
by Lachenna
Summary: After a supposedly easy mission goes awry, life changes completely for Allen and Kanda, forcing them to face their suppressed feelings for each other. Mpreg. Yullen. Lemons.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a story that I've been fiddling around with for a long time, jotting down random little snippets of plot whenever they popped in my head, but without any real intention of actually writing it. Then about a month ago, inspiration struck hard, and I sat down and wrote nine chapters over the course of a weekend.

Now for some warnings:

This story takes place a few years after Allen and Kanda were on the run from the Order. Without getting into spoilers for the story, they have since returned and Kanda has taken a position as General. Lavi's alive, but Cross is not.

As for Neah, I'm still working out the details of how he fits into this story, but the short version is that Allen is the only person inside his body.

I should also warn you that Allen's a Noah in this story, since I'm sure some of you aren't going to like that; he's not on the Earl's side, he's just a Noah (again, I'm still working on the details).

While it's a Yullen mpreg, which is nothing new from me, it's a little different from my other stories, and this first chapter is definitely out there.

There will be lemons, but you should know that the lemon in this first chapter is definitely non-con, for both parties involved...

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It started out as a routine everyday mission. The town had an abnormally high concentration of akuma in the surrounding forest, and they were there to exterminate the akuma. In fact, it was more mundane than 'routine', as even though there were a whole lot of akuma, they were all low level, so sending two critical breakers to take care of them was probably overkill. This was a mission that Allen and Kanda could have handled separately and in their sleep.

Which is why neither young man noticed the level three approaching. They had grown complacent with the easy mission and forgot to keep an eye out for surprises.

Allen finally noticed it with his curse as he took out the last of the level ones, but before he could alert his mission partner or turn to face it, it hit him square in the back with its special attack and he fell to the ground, landing in an ungraceful heap.

Kanda heard the Moyashi cry out and turned just in time to see Allen get hit and collapse. Knowing just how dangerous high level akuma's special abilities could be, he made sure to keep an eye on the unconscious boy as he fought with the level three. And if asked, he would adamantly stick to that story. He was only watching the Moyashi out of curiosity towards the akuma's attack, not out of worry for the boy. Kanda Yuu was _not_ developing feelings for that brat.

Compared to the level ones they'd just wiped out, the level three felt difficult, but it was no harder than any other level three. If Kanda had been giving it his full attention, the fight would have been over and done with easily enough. But he was distracted by the Moyashi, so the fight took longer than it should have. Not that he would ever admit that Allen was a distraction.

When the boy began to stir, it was clear that there was something mentally wrong with him. The wobbly way he moved and the blank way he observed his surroundings made it obvious to Kanda that the Moyashi was not in his right mind. If the kid were thinking clearly, he would have launched himself directly into the fight, no matter how crappy he was feeling. Instead, he was standing on shaky legs, looking like he had no clue where he was.

Turning his focus back to the level three, Kanda deflected a blow and returned it with one of his one. The Moyashi hadn't been physically harmed by the attack, but he was clearly under its influence, and the best way to free him from its grasp was to kill the akuma; he'd be a little worse for wear for the next few days, but killing the akuma would free the boy from the effects of the attack. And it was important that Kanda do it quickly. As he was now, the Moyashi was a sitting duck.

One lone level three really wasn't all that hard for a General, and now that Kanda wasn't quite so distracted, he quickly finished it off. But not before getting hit with its special attack.

It was only a glancing blow, he had managed to dodge the worst of it, and the akuma was defeated, so he wasn't particularly worried about it. The fever that came after being freed from an akuma's ability was something that his accelerated healing could fight off without any trouble at all.

Making his way over to where the Moyashi was still standing in a daze, Kanda's sense of relief faded to apprehension. One look at the Moyashi's glazed over silver eyes told him that it hadn't worked. Allen was still under the effects of the akuma's attack. They hadn't worn off when the akuma was defeated.

The thought was only confirmed by the way his own body began to feel. The heat that had begun to build up inside of him was definitely not normal. He was falling under the effects as well.

Kanda wondered what the akuma's attack did to them, but his question was answered not a moment later, when Allen finally noticed his presence.

The white haired young man closed the distance between them quickly, and to Kanda's absolute horror, he wrapped his arms around the older boy's shoulders. Kanda tried to shove him off, but the Moyashi wouldn't budge. Instead, Allen moved his head and placed his lips against Kanda's, silencing the swear words he was spewing with a fierce kiss.

Trying and failing to fight against the kiss, and the feelings of arousal building up inside of him, Kanda finally put together what was happening. They'd been hit with an incredibly powerful aphrodisiac.

With that realization, Kanda tried once more to pull away from Allen, but the Moyashi held on tight, using the moment to shove his tongue into Kanda's mouth and deepen their kiss. And since he would never admit that he liked making out with Allen, Kanda blamed his enjoyment of the kiss on their current situation.

But as the aphrodisiac worked into Kanda's system, loosening him up enough to enjoy the kiss, it already had a greater hold on Allen. Kissing was not enough for the young man, not when there was a strong, warm body that he could be closer to. He pulled the samurai even closer to him and began to grind against him, searching for relief from the nearly unbearable heat that had overtaken his mind. It didn't matter that Kanda was someone he hated with a passion; to Allen's hazed over mind, it only mattered that there was a person here that he could have sex with.

Feeling Allen press his erection against his hip shocked Kanda out of his daze, but only briefly. He was stunned by the forwardness of the action, but as the younger boy repeated it, grinding into him more and more forcefully, the haze of arousal began to build up once more. He needed to think fast if he wanted to get out of this situation.

But the more he thought, the more he realized just how hopeless their situation was. They were in the middle of nowhere and the finder was dead, so they would have a horrible time finding their way back to civilization in their condition, as no one was going to randomly wander by and save them. Plus, with the Moyashi completely out of it and practically begging for sex, getting Allen out of there was going to be next to impossible. There was no escaping until the spell they were under had worn off, and based off how he was feeling, and the fervor with which Allen was attacking him, letting the aphrodisiac run its course meant having sex with the Moyashi.

With nothing to lose and being incredibly unwilling to have sex with Allen, as that would mean admitting that he actually wanted to have sex with Allen, Kanda decided to give the Moyashi a hand job, hoping that experiencing an orgasm would make the effects pass and return the boy to his senses. If it worked, he could then sneak away from the Moyashi to take care of his own growing problem. It was the only way out of this that he could see.

'Gentle' was not in Kanda's nature, but he was confident that he'd been on the receiving end of Teidoll's gentle side enough times to convincingly mimic it. It would probably be embarrassing, but it was only for a few minutes, and the Moyashi looked so out of it that it was highly likely that he wouldn't remember a single thing from this whole ordeal. He just had to remember that the embarrassment would be much less emotionally painful than the alternative.

Taking hold of the younger man's shoulders, Kanda broke their kiss and braced himself for the horrifyingly embarrassing words he was about to say. He leaned in closer, brushing his cheek against fever-warm skin and doing his best to not gag at the thought of touching Allen so intimately. After a deep breath to steady his nerves, Kanda began to whisper in the Moyashi's ear. "Shh. Just relax, Moyashi. It's all going to be ok. You just need to calm down, and I'll do my best to help you through this."

The words felt awkward on his tongue at first, but he was surprised to find that the soothing nonsense actually began to come naturally to him. It felt right to be talking to the younger like that. And because that could not possibly be because he wanted to be with the Moyashi, the ease with which he spoke such drivel had to be from the last decade of putting up with Teidoll.

Kanda wanted to scream out his frustration, but the nonsense was actually working. The Moyashi was calming down. The hips that had been grinding so frenziedly against him slowly stilled, and though the boy's keening moans gave away just how badly he was affected by the akuma's attack, he was no longer trying to force himself on Kanda.

Knowing that the boy's stillness wasn't going to last for long, Kanda let his hands drift down to the boy's bony hips while continuing to whisper the soothing nonsense in the Moyashi's ear. He paused there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of the still moment, before his brain snapped back to reality and reminded him that he was only liking touching Allen because of the effects of the aphrodisiac. Resuming his mission, Kanda moved his fingers to the button of the brat's pants, praying that his plan would work and bring the kid back to his senses. He nimbly popped the button open and swiftly slipped his hand down the front of Allen's boxers.

The Moyashi's erect shaft was easy to find, and Kanda quickly wrapped his fingers around it, doing his best to get this over with as soon as possible so that he wouldn't have to think about the fact that he was jerking off Allen Walker.

To his surprise and shame, the soothing words had stopped coming, and Kanda found himself leaving a hickey on the tender porcelain flesh of the Moyashi's neck. Mortified, he tried to fight against the haze of arousal that was continuing to wash over him and stop himself from continuing with the intimate motion, but he found that he couldn't. It felt like his lips were fused to the boy's throat.

Allen came with a choked groan, and in the sudden quiet that followed, Kanda released his hold on the boy and took a step back; he did not want to be touching the Moyashi when the kid returned to his senses.

However, to Kanda's utter dismay, the Moyashi only blinked a few times before his eyes glazed over once more and he resumed his needy moaning. The cock that had released just moments earlier was already fully erect again; and even as his mind continued to haze over, Kanda knew that the impossibility of that was because of whatever shit it was that the akuma had hit them with. This was not going to be as easy as he initially thought. Simply touching the boy was not going to be enough; he was going to have to try something different.

Giving up on thinking, as it was becoming increasingly harder to do, Kanda focused solely on relieving the Moyashi; he was losing himself to the growing warmth inside him, and their only hope of getting out of there anytime soon lay in his ability to snap the Moyashi back to reality.

Forcing himself not to think about what he was doing, Kanda fell to his knees and pulled down the Moyashi's pants to expose his cock. He was briefly deterred by the boy's size, but he pushed that thought aside and took Allen's shaft into his mouth. He was self-conscious of his lack of skill with oral sex and mortified by the fact that he was doing such a thing to that idiot Moyashi of all people, but short of bending the brat over and actually fucking him, this was the only option left to him. Degrading himself by taking what he regarded as a submissive position was his only hope of escaping this situation without having to have sex with Allen.

But as Allen came, releasing his load down Kanda's throat, Kanda lost his inner battle with the drug in his system. He needed sex and he needed it _now_.

The Moyashi was still out of it, completely lost in the powerful aphrodisiac, and it took no effort at all on Kanda's part to get the boy to pull off his pants and get down on his hands and knees. The samurai's pants were pulled down just enough to free his erect cock, and without a second thought, he shoved his needy shaft roughly into the boy's unprepared hole. If it hurt, Allen didn't even flinch. Both boys moaned in ecstasy and through the effects of the drug, began moving like longtime lovers rather than the inexperienced virgins that they both were.

Kanda's relief at achieving release was short lived, as the aphrodisiac seemed impossible to shake. Despite his best efforts to resist it, he couldn't fight back and lost himself completely to the arousing feelings. He roughly and needily moved Allen into a new position and began to pound into the boy once more.

By the time the drug wore off and Kanda had returned to his senses, he had lost track of how many times he'd released in the Moyashi's ass. He knew it was more than twenty, and the setting sun told him that they'd been at it for several hours, but beyond that, the afternoon was a nausea-inducing fog of sexual ecstasy and self-loathing.

The Moyashi had finally passed out, and it mortified Kanda to think that the last couple rounds might have happened while the brat was unconscious. However, he had more pressing concerns. The growing darkness urged him to get to his feet and get back to the safety of the nearby town, but Kanda couldn't move from where he lay beside the Moyashi. Even if he could have moved, there was no way he'd have been able to get Allen back with him in his exhausted state; the boy's naked body was covered in drying semen and the fluid dripping from his obviously abused hole was tinged red with blood. Too exhausted to feel guilty or embarrassed, Kanda allowed himself to black out; it was dangerous to be out in the woods unprotected like that, but there was clearly nothing he could do about that. Sleeping was truly his only available course of action.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: And here's Chapter 2! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows!

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Somehow, they got lucky and made it through to the next morning without being discovered or disturbed by wild animals. Feeling like he'd gone crazy at a bar the night before, Kanda woke to a pounding headache and a sensation of severe disorientation. However, unlike with a hangover, memory impairment was not an issue, and to his horror, he found that he remembered what he'd done while under the effects of the akuma's attack. Hating himself, both for giving in to the drug and for having sex with the Moyashi, Kanda pushed himself up onto his side and vomited, feebly hoping that the action would somehow make him forget what had happened. It didn't, but it made the faux hangover fade enough that he could actually think about practical things, like getting dressed and getting them out of the middle of nowhere.

His first order of business was to find their coats and get their naked bodies covered; he didn't want to get dressed until he could get himself cleaned up, but walking around the woods naked seemed like a really bad idea. He draped the Moyashi's jacket over his unconscious body, hiding the evidence of what they'd done the night before, before slipping on his own.

After that, Kanda worked his way to his feet, but he quickly found that he didn't have the strength to walk back to town, much less carry the still unconscious Moyashi with him. They were stuck here until he recovered more or the Moyashi woke up, and given what his fuzzy brain remembered of the day before, he doubted that having Allen awake would help the situation at all; after sex that rough, it was probably going to be days if not weeks before the Moyashi could walk again.

Stumbling on his unsteady legs over to the spot where the fight had occurred, Kanda quickly found the remains of the finder, though the man was now just a pile of ashes. He searched through the oversized pack, knowing that there would be emergency supplies in there, as having the finders carry such things allowed the exorcists to travel light. The first canteen he grabbed was full, and Kanda quickly downed its contents; the water was refreshing and washed away some of the hangover-like symptoms he was feeling.

But while the canteens in the pack were all full, the rest of the supplies were in a poorer state. If the Moyashi didn't wake up, the pitiful rations would last till morning, but with Allen awake, they wouldn't last through a meal let alone long enough to get them back to town. The medical supplies were in a similar condition, and while neither young man was injured in the fight, Kanda had at least been hoping to find something to clean them up with. If he wanted to get cleaned up and put his clothes back on, he was going to have to use the water from the canteens.

The food received his attention first, and he had a quick meal to sustain his energy; he felt a little guilty about eating while the parasite-type was passed out, but Kanda knew from experience that no matter how hungry the brat Moyashi was, he would want to make sure his companions were fed as well, so that feeling quickly faded to irritation towards his selfless companion. After that, he decided that getting clean was more important than having drinking water, as once he was dressed and feeling better, he could go search the woods for a water source - he was probably going to have to go searching for food anyway.

Resisting the urge to just pour the water over himself in a makeshift shower, Kanda tried to ration it out. He grabbed a nearby shirt - years of experience had taught him to ignore that it belonged to a dead guy - and used it as a rag to clean himself up in a much more controlled way. Once that was done, he dressed in the clothes he'd shed the day before and tied his hair back up. While he still felt gross and hungover, he felt a whole lot better now that he was physically clean and properly dressed.

Turning his focus on the Moyashi, he used the same method to clean the boy up. It was embarrassing and he knew that the brat would think he was doing it to be nice, but he just wanted the boy to no longer be half-naked, and he couldn't dress him while he was so filthy; Kanda wanted to forget what had happened as soon as possible and he couldn't do that when the evidence was all over the Moyashi's body. It took longer than he would have liked, and used up far too much water, but he eventually got Allen cleaned and dressed. The boy had thankfully remained unconscious, and after resisting the urge to run him through with Mugen for looking so peaceful, Kanda turned his attention to other things.

He moved what was left of the finder's rations next to the Moyashi; the boy would be hungry when he woke and it was far less annoying to put them where the boy could find them than to get chewed out for abandoning the brat to go searching for more supplies. Then he grabbed the empty canteens and made his way out of the clearing and into the trees.

Foraging for food and water was not Kanda's forte, but General Teidoll had made sure that all of his apprentices learned basic wilderness survival skills to help them succeed as exorcists, and he knew quite a bit about botany, so he was far from being completely lost. The nearby stream was noisy and easy to find, but after that, things got a little harder. There were no edible plants around, and Kanda knew better than to take the berries from the bush he couldn't identify, as it was far better to leave food behind than to take something poisonous; normally his healing could fight off such a thing, but in his currently strained state, that was an unnecessary risk.

In the end, he returned to the clearing with full canteens and a bundle of firewood. He was disappointed with what he'd found, but the Moyashi was still out, and as long as he stayed that way, food wouldn't be an issue.

After taking a brief rest to regain the strength he'd spent out in the woods, Kanda built a fire. He spent the remainder of the day and night tending to the fire and sleeping on and off. With the Moyashi unconscious, he couldn't allow himself to sleep through the night, but he also knew that he needed rest if he was going to make it to town in the morning; they just didn't have the supplies to stay out in the woods until they recovered.

In the morning, Kanda ate what was left of the rations, made sure the fire was out, and gathered up the still unconscious Moyashi. The trek back to town was long and difficult, though it got infinitely easier once they reached the road and he no longer had to fight his way through the woods. When they arrived in the town, the innkeeper tried to force hospitality and medical care on them, but there was no way Kanda was letting those pathetic little villagers find out what was wrong with the Moyashi, so he bullied his way to the phone. After a quick call to Komui, they were headed back to headquarters through the same ark gate that had brought them there.

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The moment they stepped into the entry hall, Kanda collapsed from exhaustion and strain; now that he knew that they were safe, he could no longer fight against how poor he was feeling. He woke up a few hours later, in a bed in the infirmary with an IV in his arm. His gut reaction was to tear out the needle and escape to his room, but as he became more awake, he beat down that instinct. He was still wiped out from their ordeal, and he knew that the nutrients in the IV would aid his natural healing abilities much more efficiently than simple food and rest would - Komui had beaten that into his head rather forcibly. Besides, the Moyashi was in the bed next to him, and Kanda was not going anywhere until the boy was awake and they could talk; he desperately needed to know if Allen remembered any of what had happened out there.

A nurse came into the room to check on them, and when she saw that Kanda was awake, she immediately left again, presumably to fetch Komui, as he arrived just a few minutes later. He couldn't help laughing at the disgruntled scowl on Kanda's face. "I'm glad to see you left the IV in. You're severely dehydrated and malnourished; you're going to need all the help you can get recovering from that. I'm surprised that you were able to get yourself back here, much less do it while carrying someone else."

His nervous laughter faded, and he fixed Kanda with a very serious stare. "You were only gone for three days, so how is it that you both are in the same condition as someone who had spent weeks lost in the woods?"

Kanda just stared silently at the wall behind him; he didn't have the words to explain what had happened to them. Komui tried several different questions, but the samurai didn't react to any of them. Eventually the supervisor realized that he wasn't going to get anything out of Kanda, so he sighed and gave up. "Look, I know what happened to Allen. I know you don't like him, but I imagine that witnessing his rape was still a pretty traumatic experience, especially given how beat up he is. I get that you don't want to talk about it. But I do need your side of the story for the reports, so don't take too long to get over it, ok?"

It took everything Kanda had to wait until Komui was gone before he reacted to what he'd just been told. For the moment, it was a huge stroke of luck that Komui thought he had merely witnessed Allen's rape, but depending on what Allen remembered, that could come back to bite him; he might be facing some very serious trouble for raping the Moyashi. Because now that he had taken a good look at the brat, it did look like the boy had been attacked. He was only safe if Allen remembered nothing and he could make up a story about what had happened. If Allen remembered enough to name him as the man who had done that to him, no one was going to believe that they both had been drugged.

On the other hand, he wasn't so sure that he wanted Allen to have forgotten what happened.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, the part of him that had liked Allen before this whole ordeal liked the boy even more now. And while that was completely unacceptable, he also couldn't deny that he didn't want the sex to be a one time thing. He didn't want to dwell on his feelings, but he was unfortunately stuck in a place where thinking was pretty much all he could do.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: As usual, thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. And now it's time for Allen to wake up...

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Another day passed before Allen finally woke up. He was tired and groggy, but the bed was warm and comfortable, so he didn't put too much effort into being awake. Until he finally noticed the needle in his arm and processed that he was in the infirmary. Allen was alert in a flash, sitting up and reaching over to pull out the IV.

He halted in his tracks when he heard a low voice coming from the bed beside him. "You've been in the infirmary for a little over twenty four hours, but you've been out for three days. You better leave that needle in your arm."

Having the question he was thinking be answered so quickly was nice, but the sound of Kanda's voice was not. It was mortifying to discover that they were sharing a room. Allen glanced over at the samurai, but that brief look was all he could stand. Kanda was clearly avoiding looking at him.

The next words Kanda spoke were very much like him, brusque and straight to the point. "How much do you remember?"

Allen bit his lip as he dropped his gaze to his lap and fisted his hands in the blankets. He knew exactly what Kanda was referring to and just the mention of what had happened scared him. His voice started out so quiet that he wasn't sure Kanda could even hear it, but it grew louder as he became less embarrassed. "Everything. ... All of it. ... I remember everything that happened after I got hit."

He felt rather than saw Kanda's surprise. Steeling himself, he managed to look at the samurai while he asked him the most important question he thought he would ever have to ask him. "Why would you do that for me? You hate me. Why would you help me like that?"

Unsure how to respond to the gratitude - he had expected the Moyashi to be pissed at what he'd done, not thankful - Kanda did his best to brush off the feeling of care that had welled up inside him. While he was still so mixed up over his feelings towards Allen, he couldn't let the brat continue to think that he'd helped him on purpose. "That akuma hit me too, Baka."

"Oh." Allen blinked in surprise and returned his gaze to the blankets. As much as he disliked Kanda, it hurt to learn that the man hadn't done those things to help him; he had hoped it meant that the samurai had finally accepted him as an equal. "So what happens now?"

Kanda could hear the Moyashi's unshed tears in his voice; maybe he'd been a little too harsh with his rejection. "Well, for starters, you're going to have to tell Komui what happened."

The words pissed Allen off. "What?! Why do _**I**_ have to do it? Why can't you tell him?"

The Moyashi's anger was easy to ignore when Kanda knew it was coming. "Because he thinks you were raped, Moyashi. He's never going to believe the truth unless it comes from you."

"Oh. Ok." It made Allen uncomfortable to hear that Komui not only knew that he'd had sex with a man, but that the supervisor had assumed that he'd been raped, so he was quick to change the subject. "But what about us?"

Not liking the way that sounded, as it seemed to imply that they were in a relationship, Allen rephrased the question. "What happens between you and me now?"

It was hard for them both, but they actually managed to rationally discuss what happened and how they were supposed to move on from it. And it turned out that for once in their lives, they were on the same page. They had only had sex because they were under the effects of the akuma's aphrodisiac and were clearly not in control of their own actions; neither of them were to blame for what had happened. In the end, they decided that the only way to move on was to pretend it didn't happen. As soon as they gave their report to Komui, they would forget all about their accidental tryst.

It was easier said than done for both boys.

Allen was more than willing to put the whole thing behind him, but that became a lot harder to do when he discovered that he couldn't move his legs. The paralysis was only temporary, he was up and walking around by the end of the day, but the pain that came with it only served as a reminder that he'd not only been fucked in the ass, but that it was by someone he hated. He knew Kanda wasn't to blame for it, it was his own fault for not noticing the level three in the first place, but it was hard not to hate Kanda more for it. It was childish and cowardly, but he began to avoid the samurai in his attempts to forget about what had happened between them.

For Kanda, it was hard to forget because he didn't want to. Or rather, that tiny little part of him that didn't want to forget being physically intimate with Allen wouldn't let the rest of him move on. Against his will, he found the memory of that day sneaking into his private times, and it was not uncommon for him to have to relieve himself in the shower because he'd been thinking about Allen. And the more time passed, the more aware he became of the fact that Allen was doing everything in his power to avoid him. He was thankful at first, as seeing the Moyashi only triggered the dirty thoughts, but it quickly became painful to know that Allen hated him more than ever.

So when Allen actually sought him out, and in a public location no less, he certainly wasn't going to push the boy away. "We need to talk. About _that_."

It didn't take a genius to know what the Moyashi was referring to. This could only be about what had happened on their last mission together. And given that they'd managed to avoid that subject for three weeks, it was more than a little shocking that Allen not only wanted to talk about it, but that he was so direct about it. Kanda nodded and pushed away from the table. "Let's go somewhere private."

They walked in silence down to the meditation room. It was further away than many of the other places they could have gone, but it was Kanda's turf and everyone knew better than to go inside while he was there; they'd be left alone and no one would ever question why they were there together. Out of habit, Kanda took up his usual meditation pose in his usual spot. Allen stood just inside the door, his confidence failing now that they were actually alone together. It took a moment for him to collect his thoughts - something that wasn't helped by the patient way Kanda was simply staring at him and waiting for him to speak. "You were a lot more coherent than I was. Did it ever occur to you to use protection?"

When Kanda didn't answer right away, Allen immediately got flustered and tried to backtrack. "I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just curious!"

Kanda merely raised an eyebrow at the Moyashi. He knew that there was only one reason why the boy would be asking about protection, and while that offended him, he knew better than to upset him in his condition; Allen had such incredibly bad luck that he'd gotten sick almost immediately after recovering from their ordeal. "Che. I know you just came from an exam. If you've got something sexually transmitted, it didn't come from me."

He noticed the way Allen stiffened at his words, telling him that he was right, and the boy did have some sort of disease, but he didn't want to think about that, so he brushed past it, his sense of honor telling him that he owed the boy an honest answer. "Yes, I thought about using protection, but with my healing abilities, there was no chance of us infecting each other with anything. Besides, it's not like we had any. And we were in no position to stop and find something, either. So it really doesn't matter."

Allen nodded solemnly, letting the subject drop, but he didn't move from his spot, prompting Kanda to question him. The Moyashi was far too calm; if he truly thought Kanda had given him a disease, he should have been livid. "What brought this on anyway?"

Still terrified by what Komui had said was causing his illness, Allen didn't want to say it out loud. It was almost like actually saying it would make it true. But Kanda was just as involved in this as he was, and he couldn't let the samurai hear it from anyone other than him. "I'm pregnant."

While Kanda froze in shock, unable to process the news that a male was pregnant, Allen let out a heavy sigh. "I guess I was just curious if it would have been possible to prevent this from happening, but it clearly wasn't. I'll go get out of your way now."

Allen turned towards the door, but he was stopped from leaving by a hand on his wrist. He turned back to Kanda to find the samurai staring at him, his face actually showing his confusion. "You're pregnant? How?"

Allen's gaze dropped to the floor; he was still trying to process this himself, having to explain it to someone else was almost too much to take. "It's because I'm a parasite-type. Apparently all males with parasitic Innocences have the ability to bear children."

Kanda could only stare at the Moyashi. He didn't want to believe that a male was pregnant, but if the Innocence was involved then the boy was definitely not playing some kind of trick on him. Which given that they'd been physically intimate recently, could only mean one thing. "And it's mine?"

Allen snorted at the ridiculousness of the question; even a simpleton like Kanda should have figured out already that that was the only reason for telling him something so personal and embarrassing. "I was a virgin before that night, and I know you know that I just finally healed and therefore haven't slept with anyone else, so it's rather obvious that it's yours."

Before Kanda could reply, the situation became too much for Allen, and he ran off. He tried to keep the tears at bay, but despite his best efforts, he was sobbing like a baby before he reached the privacy of his bedroom.

Allen threw himself face down on the bed, just barely remembering to close the door behind him. The tears came even stronger now that he knew he was alone and could cry without being pestered about it by his friends. When Komui had decided that they needed to figure out why he was sick, he certainly had never expected this to be the reason why he couldn't keep food down. It was bad enough that he was pregnant, and the circumstances leading up to it only made him feel worse about the whole situation.

Failing to notice an akuma should have only meant injury or the death of an innocent bystander, things that years of experience had taught him to deal with without falling apart, but instead, his life was being changed in a completely different way. Not only had he been forced into losing his virginity to a man he hated, but he had also been forced into carrying that man's child. That one moment of inattentiveness meant that he was going to be a single parent - Kanda wasn't going to willingly help with the baby, and Allen certainly wasn't going to try to make him - which meant that his life had been turned completely upside down.

Lost in his confusion and self-pity, Allen ignored the knocking on his door; he was in no condition to face anyone, much less have to explain why he was so upset. He was relieved when the knocking finally stopped, thinking that whoever it was had finally given up, but it wasn't until a few seconds later, when there was suddenly an extra weight on his bed, that he realized that his visitor had gone ahead and entered without permission. Before he could really process that, Allen found himself wrapped in strong arms and pulled against a muscular chest. And even though he'd never been touched like that by that man before, he still knew exactly who it was, and that was mind blowing. "Kanda? What are you-?"

When Allen tried to talk through his tears, Kanda was quick to interrupt. "Just shut up and go back to crying, Moyashi."

Allen wanted to argue, but his emotions quickly overpowered that urge, and he found himself clinging tighter to Kanda as he sobbed over his situation. He didn't understand why the samurai was comforting him, but Mana had been the last person to hold him like that, and even though he didn't like Kanda, he couldn't make himself push him away. He needed the emotional support the embrace gave him.


	4. Chapter 4

While they laid on the bed together, Kanda's thoughts kept drifting back to the news Allen had given him earlier. It was hard to believe that the boy was actually pregnant. But on the other hand, the randomness of an akuma having an attack that made people so aroused that they would have sex with the next person they saw suddenly made perfect sense. Pregnancy not only took Allen out of action for the next several months, but having a child would change all of his priorities. It was quite an effective way for the enemy to get rid of an exorcist. Kanda could only imagine the chaos that would have ripped through the Order if Lenalee had been its victim. Then again, this was Allen, the Order's Noah ally, so having that akuma hit him was probably just as effective.

But Kanda's thoughts never drifted far from the boy in his arms. Allen's noisy sobbing had finally stopped, but the tears were still streaming down his cheeks, and Kanda knew that the way the Moyashi snuggled closer to his chest was simply a reaction to being held; it was no secret that Allen had lost everyone he'd ever gotten close to - the way he had cried after General Cross' death had made that painfully clear to Kanda - and any physical contact was considered precious, even if it was from someone he didn't like. Life had been very unfair to the Moyashi, and this pregnancy was just another unfair thing for him to suffer through.

Eventually all that remained of his tears was a few sniffles and hiccups, allowing Allen to finally focus on the way Kanda had held him without complaint for the last two hours. His confusion towards the samurai finally outweighed his distress over his pregnancy. "What are you doing here?"

"You're pregnant with my baby, Moyashi. Where else would I be?"

Allen could only gape at Kanda following his clearly rhetorical question. "But you don't like me."

To Allen's surprise, Kanda didn't try to argue with him. Instead, the samurai gently brushed a hand into his hair, caressing his head as he placed a kiss on his lips. The kiss caught Allen completely off guard, and the look of astonishment on his face almost made Kanda smile. The decision to pursue the boy had been a gut reaction to learning about his pregnancy, but that look made it hard to doubt his decision; the Moyashi was adorable when he was confused.

Allen finally blinked, still unable to wrap his head around the fact that Kanda had just kissed him. "I don't understand."

Kanda sighed and let Allen pull away from him. He knew that what he was about to say wouldn't be taken well; it would have been beyond stupid to hope that Allen would return his feelings, but he had to go for it. "I've been fighting my feelings for you for a long time now. You've driven me absolutely crazy from the moment we met, and I've never been able to decide if I want to kill you or share a bed with you. And after what happened last month, it's only been worse. I've been kicking myself for weeks trying to figure out if I want you or if it was just the drug that made me feel that way. But I've reached a decision. You being pregnant with my child means that I want you."

He stopped talking when Allen placed a hand over his mouth, waiting in silence for the Moyashi to collect his thoughts. Allen eventually decided that he needed more information; he had no idea what to make of Kanda's confession. "You want what exactly? Cuz I can tell you right now that it better not be sex."

Kanda snorted in amusement before brushing his hand through the Moyashi's hair. "I want to marry you. I want us to raise our baby together, as a family."

The honesty in Kanda's voice scared Allen. And so did the gentle way he was touching him. These things were not at all like the man he had hated for the last four years. Honestly, he was half-expecting Kanda to kill him for getting pregnant. Kanda being nice to him was not something he could handle. "This is not how you were supposed to react. You weren't supposed to want the baby. I can't-"

Allen cut off with a sob, his tears returning as he got worked up. Kanda's arms were around him once more, pulling him back into a firm hug. "Moyashi. Calm down. I don't need an answer from you right now, so don't push yourself. I'm only telling you this so that you know what I want. You've got a lot of decisions to make in the next few days, and I want you to have all the information. Just think about what I said, ok?"

Once again, the way Kanda was behaving severely confused Allen, and he had had enough of trying to make sense of why the samurai was suddenly being kind and patient, when all he'd ever gotten from the man was curses and insults. "I swear, if this is some sort of trick you're playing on me-"

Kanda cut him off with a quick kiss; he was a little offended by Allen's distrust, but he had known that the Moyashi was going to doubt his sincerity, so he wasn't too upset. Plus, kissing the Moyashi was becoming more enjoyable each time he did it, and it was proving to be a very effective way to shut the boy up. "I'm not messing with you, Allen."

The use of his first name had the desired effect. Allen's eyes grew so wide that it looked like they were going to pop out of his skull. After a moment of staring, he began sobbing harder than before, snuggling as close as he could get to Kanda's chest. That was the closest anyone had ever come to saying "I love you" to him, and despite how much he hated Kanda, he could only focus on the fact that there was someone out there who cared about him.

Allen cried himself to sleep in Kanda's arms, and to his surprise, the samurai was still there when he woke up. Even after everything that Kanda had said that morning, Allen had expected the samurai's patience to have worn out by then. The confused look on his face made Kanda snicker. "It's only been half an hour, Moyashi. You weren't asleep long enough for me to get bored."

He was of course leaving out that he had very much enjoyed watching the Moyashi sleep and didn't think he'd ever get bored of it. And it was only going to get better as their baby grew; Allen was going to be even more gorgeous once his pregnancy started showing. It was amazing how quickly deciding that he liked the Moyashi had put all of his inner conflicts to rest; he was perfectly content to lay there with the boy, when just the day before it had taken all of his self-control to not stab the brat for talking with his mouth full.

They watched each other in silence, neither wanting to make the next move, but a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed Allen's awkwardness. "Can you let go of me?" When Kanda only tightened his hold on his waist, Allen was quick to explain before the samurai could refuse his request. "I need to go throw up."

Allen was off the bed and across the room the moment Kanda released him. Kanda followed him warily, but when Allen knelt in front of the toilet and threw up, he no longer doubted the sincerity of the request. He was torn between keeping his distance and trying to comfort the Moyashi, but the bout of morning sickness ended more quickly than it took for him to decide. Neither young man said anything as they moved back into Allen's bedroom, as Allen had expected Kanda to leave once the vomiting started and was completely baffled as to why he hadn't.

The moment was broken by a knock on the door. They both looked towards the door out of instinct, and it opened before Allen could ask who was there. Komui stuck his head into the room, his expression filled with relief as he saw Allen, but it shifted to stunned confusion when he noticed Kanda's presence. Last he'd heard, they hated each other more than ever after their forced intimacy, and he had anticipated Allen's pregnancy making that worse, so he couldn't figure out why they were not only alone together but not fighting. "Sorry for interrupting. I was just wondering if you'd calmed down enough for us to finish our talk. But you're clearly busy, so I'll come back later."

Allen shook his head as he sat down on the edge of his bed. "You're not interrupting anything. I was just telling Kanda about the baby, that's all."

Following the explanation, Allen gave Kanda a very pointed look. "You can go now."

Kanda opened his mouth to argue, but Komui beat him to it. "Actually, Allen, he should stay. This thing affects both of you. He should have this information too."

Allen scowled fiercely at both of them. "Why does it matter? Can't I just have an abortion and be done with it?"

Komui sighed heavily as he sat in a nearby chair. He had been hoping to lead into this gently, but Allen's anger had forced his hand. "Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. According to the Order's rules and regulations, having a body that can bear children makes you female."

Both Allen and Kanda swore. Allen tried to argue with him over how stupid that was, but Komui was quick to cut him off. "Look, I didn't make the rules. I don't like this any more than you do, but I've looked into it and there's nothing I can do. Because you're pregnant, you're a woman, and that's just how it is."

When both boys just stared at him, he brought the subject back around to the original topic. Though with how angry they already were, Komui didn't want to do that; he was pretty certain that he wasn't going to leave this room alive. "And because you're a female, the decisions about what happens to your baby aren't yours to make. It's the baby's father who gets to decide if you can have an abortion."

As Komui expected, that immediately set Allen off. He hadn't known whether or not he wanted an abortion and was only asking out of anger and curiosity, but being told that he wasn't allowed to make his own decisions simply because he was pregnant, combined with the circumstances that had caused him to become pregnant in the first place, made him want that abortion, and he was going to do everything he could think of to get it.

While the Moyashi argued with Komui, Kanda frowned in thought. He wasn't the brightest of bulbs, but he wasn't so stupid to have missed the fact that it was up to him to make the decisions about their baby. And while Allen was right, and it was a monumentally idiotic rule, Kanda could only be thankful for it. He knew Allen would hate him for this, but this was a situation where he had to be selfish and do what _he_ wanted. And hopefully, someday, the Moyashi would forgive him and return his feelings.

Kanda fixed Allen with a very meaningful stare and cut him off mid-sentence. "Moyashi. No."

That one word made Allen's blood grow cold, and he could only watch as Kanda swept calmly out of the room. As soon as the door closed behind him, Allen's tears began to fall, and he curled up on his side and bawled. He had calmed down a little and was back to not knowing whether or not he wanted an abortion, but hearing that Kanda wasn't going to let him have one was devastating. It was even worse that he should have known that that was coming; Kanda had made it perfectly clear that he thought that having a baby together meant that they were in a relationship.

Allen's tears confused Komui. He had breathed a sigh of relief when Kanda had refused to be involved in this train wreck. "I don't understand why you're so upset, Allen. Isn't it a good thing that Kanda wants nothing to do with your pregnancy? The decisions are yours now."

Allen only blinked once in confusion before he realized that Komui had misunderstood the situation. He wanted to keep his mouth shut, but he was so emotionally overwrought that the truth slipped out. "Kanda wants the baby. That was his way of telling me that I can't have an abortion."

Komui's stunned silence just made Allen cry harder. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. "And as if that weren't bad enough, not only does Kanda want the baby, he wants us to get married and raise it together. It's completely ridiculous. How on earth are the two of us supposed to be a family? And marriage? Like I'm going to be his happy little wife and cook and clean for him or something? That's never going to happen!"

When Allen finally stopped ranting, Komui sighed heavily, pulling off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "You really shouldn't have told me that, Allen."

"Why not?"

Komui fixed Allen with a solemn stare to show him just how serious he was. "Because now you're going to have to marry Kanda."

Allen couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?!"

The supervisor sighed heavily as he replaced his glasses. "Much like how abortion is the decision of the baby's father, so is marriage. If Kanda wants you two to get married, you have to get married. And now that I know that, I'm duty bound to report it."

The words made Allen hop to his feet in outrage. "But-!"

Komui shook his head, placing his hands on Allen's shoulders and guiding him back to a seated position. "I can hide it for a week or so, to give you both time to cool down and think things over, but that's it. My hands are just as tied in all this as yours are. The cold hard truth is that if Kanda hasn't changed his mind by Friday, you _will_ have to marry him."

Allen wanted to scream at hearing that, so he did. He curled up in ball and cried, mildly surprised that he had any tears left. Komui waited a few minutes to see if Allen's hysterics would die down, but when it became clear that the boy wasn't going to calm down, he excused himself.


	5. Chapter 5

To Komui's surprise, Kanda was sitting in the hallway outside of Allen's room; the sound of the door opening had pulled the samurai out of his meditation. They stared at each other in silence while Komui closed the door behind him. Kanda spoke first, answering Komui's questions before he could ask them. "I didn't hear anything, and yes, I've been here the whole time."

That startled Komui for a moment, as he had been under the assumption that Allen had misunderstood Kanda's suggestion that they get married. Even if the part about Kanda wanting his baby was true, Komui hadn't thought that the samurai would also want to marry his baby's mother; it just didn't fit with Kanda's personality. But there he was, waiting patiently for their private talk to be over, which seemed to suggest that Allen did have a proper grasp on what Kanda wanted. "Allen says that you proposed to him?"

"I did."

The calm honesty in his voice was unexpected and made Komui blink. "Well, like I told him, I'm going to give you both a couple days to cool off and think things through before we do anything official. I don't want either one of you to make any rash decisions. We'll revisit this on Friday and go from there."

Kanda nodded once before standing and moving past Komui towards the Moyashi's room, but he was stopped as he turned the doorknob. "Once Allen calms down, make sure that he eats something, and then come to my office. I've got a mission for you both."

Kanda couldn't believe what he was hearing. "A mission? Seriously? After everything else that's happened today? You're going to send the Moyashi on a mission in his condition?"

The amount of concern Kanda was showing for Allen was startling. To both of them. Neither of them could believe that he had actually asked Komui to go easy on Allen. "The war comes first, General. You both know that. Allen has been cleared for duty after the injuries he sustained on his last mission. I have no medical reason for keeping him here. And until he's a whole lot further into his pregnancy, that's not going to change. The only thing I can do is make sure that someone goes with him, so that he's not out there alone. And since you seem dead set on taking responsibility for him, that someone has to be you. I expect all three of you to return from this alive, understand?"

Even though he didn't say it, Kanda understood that Komui was asking him to make sure that Allen didn't try to intentionally miscarry the baby. He nodded once before sweeping into Allen's room.

Allen was still curled up on his bed, sobbing over the incredibly drastic way his life had changed that day, but when he heard his bedroom door open and close, curiosity took over enough to make him raise his head to see who his visitor was; he hadn't expected to be interrupted so soon after Komui had left. To say that he was surprised to see Kanda would be an understatement. Allen had thoroughly expected the samurai to be done with him for the day. It was no secret that Kanda had no patience for "pathetic bean sprouts that cry like little girls", and despite claiming that his feelings had changed, after sitting with him all afternoon, Allen figured that Kanda would have been fed up with him by now.

Kanda noticed Allen's confusion, but he didn't acknowledge it; they'd talked about his feelings enough for one afternoon. He reclaimed his earlier position lying next to his Moyashi, but when he tried to wrap his arms around the boy's shoulders, Allen flinched away. "Che. Just go back to crying, Moyashi. You've only got a few hours to get it out of your system before you have to report to Komui for your next mission."

What was left of Allen's tears halted in an instant. He eyed Kanda suspiciously. "A real mission? Or is this some sort of ruse for ordering me to take care of the baby?"

Kanda knew that if he answered wrong, Allen would probably hurt him, but he didn't know what the Moyashi wanted to hear, so he had to settle for the truth. "A real mission. Komui says that your pregnancy is not a valid reason for keeping you at headquarters."

"Thank god!" Allen practically threw himself off the bed in his relief and excitement. He was ecstatic that he was still going to be allowed to do his job in his condition; the thought of being stuck at headquarters for the next year had to have been one of the biggest downsides to learning he was pregnant. It felt so good to hear that he would still be allowed to go out and free the akuma.

Kanda watched with amusement as Allen bustled excitedly around his room, glad that he'd been wrong about the Moyashi taking the mission assignment as bad news. It was good to see Allen happy about something after all the crying he'd done that day, but at the same time, Kanda desperately wished that the Moyashi could be that happy about their baby.

The samurai was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed that the Moyashi was giving him a very serious stare. "Do you think I'll have time to eat before I have to leave?"

Kanda scoffed at that. The Moyashi could eat a full meal in five minutes if he wanted to, so unless he wanted to savor his food, having the time to eat wasn't really an issue. "I'm supposed to make sure you eat _before_ we report to Komui."

Allen froze in his tracks, a pit of dread forming in his gut as he caught what Kanda had really said. "'We'? You're coming with me?"

"You're pregnant, Moyashi. Komui may not be able to keep you off missions, but he's sure as hell not going to let you go anywhere alone. I'm the only other exorcist at headquarters right now, so I'm who you're stuck with." Seeing that Allen wasn't buying his explanation, Kanda decided to change tactics. "Do you really think that it was _my_ idea to give up my general's duties to go on a mission with you?"

Allen scowled at the snide remark that was meant to make him feel stupid. "Yes. I do. You hate taking orders from Central and would gladly give them up to go on normal missions. And given the way you've followed me around since I told you I was pregnant with your baby, I imagine you'd follow me on this mission even if you weren't officially assigned to it."

Kanda couldn't deny the truth in that, so he didn't even try. "Not until you're a lot less hostile, Moyashi. I'm trying very hard to avoid doing things that would get me killed by you."

Allen grumbled and made a face at that. "Then stop trying to touch me. I may be carrying your child, but that doesn't make me yours."

"I disagree." Kanda didn't feel the need to point out that he'd never once said out loud that he thought that the Moyashi was his; it would only enrage the already upset bean sprout. Not that what he said next wasn't going to do that anyway. "Especially since I'm the only one of us who actually wants this kid."

The comment made Allen instantly grow depressed, reminding him of what had happened during their conversation with Komui. "Are you really going to force me to go through with this pregnancy?"

Kanda shrugged. "That depends entirely on how long it takes you to come to your senses and realize that abortion is murder." At the glare Allen shot him, he elaborated. "The sooner you decide you want the baby, the sooner I'm done forcing things on you."

Allen just continued to glare at Kanda. "Are you going to nag me about my pregnancy this whole mission? Cuz if you are, I'd like to know now so that I can just kill you and be done with it."

That was a very good point. Pestering Allen about the baby was a surefire way to get him so annoyed that he'd lash out physically. It was time for Kanda to propose a truce. "Look, if you promise to take care of both yourself and our baby," seeing Allen make a face at that, Kanda clarified, "and by that I mean eating properly and not doing _anything_ that might cause you to miscarry, then I will give you some space. I won't say a single word about the baby or your pregnancy for the entirety of our mission."

What Kanda was offering seemed too good to be true, and Allen was immediately suspicious. "What's the catch?"

Kanda wouldn't call it a catch, but he could see how the Moyashi would see it that way, so he decided to be honest now rather than risk getting stabbed later. "I'm going to spend this mission trying to convince you that I genuinely have feelings for you."

While that initially made Allen mad, it only took him a few seconds to realize what it really meant. "So you're going to treat me like your boyfriend instead of an annoyance?"

Allen's eyes went wide when Kanda nodded. "Does that mean you'll stop calling me 'Moyashi'?"

Kanda smirked devilishly at that. "Not a chance, Moyashi."

The way Allen's face fell was absolutely adorable, and Kanda gave in to his impulses and leaned in and kissed the boy. Allen still wasn't kissing him back, but he wasn't pushing him away either, so at the very least, he wasn't as angry over being kissed as he claimed to be. Breaking away, Kanda placed his forehead against Allen's and smiled as he stared into those beautiful silver eyes. "I will, however, use your real name. Sometimes."

As much as he wanted to hear that, Allen didn't really believe that Kanda was telling the truth. The samurai loved to mess with him over his name. "You're actually going to call me 'Allen'? Really?"

Kanda shrugged off Allen's disbelief. "I've used it at least twice today already, Moyashi. You should pay more attention to your surroundings."

The comment made Allen scowl, and he all but spit his retort at the older man. "I've been a little _distracted_, Bakanda. Understandably so. It's not every day that you learn you've got female plumbing and are carrying a baby."

Expecting an argument or another jab, it was more than a little shocking that Kanda conceded. "Ok, you've got a point there."

Once he'd processed that Kanda really wasn't going to argue with him, Allen turned his attention back to the samurai's suggestion for a truce between them. He really liked the idea of Kanda agreeing of his own free will to not only not nag him about his pregnancy, but to treat him right, and he wanted to milk that for as long as he could. "Fine. I agree. But it starts now and lasts not just through this mission, but until we meet with Komui on Friday."

After a moment of thought, Kanda nodded. "I can deal with that. On the added condition that you have to be honest with me regarding your pregnancy."

"I thought you said you weren't going to pester me!"

It was really hard for Kanda to not laugh at the Moyashi's petulant whine. "I said 'be honest', Moyashi, not 'answer all my questions'. That just means you're not allowed to lie about it. No hiding that your pregnancy symptoms are bothering you, and no blaming things on your pregnancy that have nothing to do with it."

"Oh." Allen frowned in embarrassment and quickly changed the subject. "Ok then. Let's go get me some food."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows.

I've changed the label for this story from AllenxKanda to Yullen. I don't usually care for that label, as I prefer it when they're equals and in general, Yullen stories make Allen far too submissive for my tastes, but it is a better descriptor for where this story is headed. There will be no Arekan lemons - written or implied; Kanda is always going to top his Moyashi.

Anyway, none of that is relevant to this current chapter. So let's get on with the story!

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Kanda knew that it would be hard to keep his promise to not nag Allen about his pregnancy, especially since the Moyashi didn't want the baby, but he didn't expect it to be so hard so fast. It wasn't that Allen was intentionally making it difficult - which he had briefly debated doing but decided against - but rather, the first thing they did after leaving Allen's room was eat together, and while the Moyashi's eating habits had always gotten on Kanda's nerves, the added knowledge of the brat's pregnancy made his usual habits that much more irritating.

Allen could have impeccable table manners when he wanted to, and he usually did so when out on missions, but the Order's cafeteria was a place where he often forgot even the most common decency of not talking with his mouth full. And while Kanda didn't have to put up with that particular annoyance today, as they were the only exorcists at headquarters and Allen rarely engaged in mindless chatter when the samurai was his only dinner companion, he did have to deal with the Moyashi shoving food into his mouth even more recklessly than he usually did. Kanda was fairly certain that the boy was going to make himself sick doing that, and his newfound concern for the Moyashi made him want to say something about it. And it definitely didn't help that the things Allen was eating were probably not good for a developing child.

As Allen emptied his last plate, Kanda finally couldn't take any more and broke his silence, doing his very best to keep from sounding like he was nagging. "That was even more disgusting than usual, Moyashi."

"Well _sor-ry_ if I was a little more enthusiastic than normal. It's not my fault that you're so uptight." Allen's hostile mocking died as he caught what Kanda had really meant by the comment. He also recalled that he too had made a promise that he didn't want to break so soon, so he decided to answer the samurai's unasked question. If he couldn't even be honest with one person for one hour, he had a real problem. "My morning sickness is pretty bad, and the evening meal is the only one I can actually keep down. After throwing up all day, it's hard to control myself when I do finally get to eat a real meal."

To his surprise, Kanda didn't immediately tease him for the admission. Allen had dropped his gaze to the table to avoid having to see the other while he had admitted to his weakness, but Kanda's silence had him looking back up. The samurai wasn't laughing or smirking at him. Instead, Kanda actually looked apologetic - if someone as emotionally repressed as Kanda could look like he felt bad about something. It startled Allen more than a little, and somewhere in the back of his brain, he knew that Kanda was letting him see his emotions as part of his resolve to show him that his feelings had changed, but Allen couldn't handle that, so he quickly turned his attention on his empty plates and began gathering them up. "Let's just go get our mission, Bakanda."

Komui was more than a little surprised to see Allen and Kanda so soon. It had only been an hour and a half since he'd left them, and he had expected it to take a whole lot longer for Allen to calm down after the bad news he'd delivered. He tried several times to ask about it, but he could never get the words out. Kanda scoffed in irritation at the stuttering, but he had figured out what the supervisor was trying to ask, so he answered the man's question. "He _wants_ to go on this mission. The idiot was afraid you'd use his pregnancy as a reason to keep him from being an exorcist. So drop it and give us our assignment already."

Komui wanted to hear that directly from Allen, but he knew from experience that it wasn't safe to argue with Kanda when he got like that, so he went straight into his briefing. "Right. So, there's a small town in rural Poland. The people there regularly pray at a shrine in the nearby forest, but lately those people who visit the shrine have been turning up dead. It's only been a few deaths, not normally something we'd look further into, but the villagers have been very fervent in their requests for help, so we sent some finders to investigate. They confirmed that the deaths were the work of akuma, but they unfortunately died before they could determine if there was Innocence involved. Normally, I would send in another team of finders now that we know that there is something going on that's worth investigating, but since Allen is available for a mission right now and we know there are akuma in the area, it seemed best to just skip that step and send you in. You know I don't like sending exorcists in blind, but with Allen's eye, you should be perfectly fine."

He paused to let them ask questions, but both young men just sat there waiting for him to continue. "You'll take the ark to Kielce, which is the town closest to your destination that has both a gate and a train station. If you leave in the next hour, you should arrive in time to catch the train tonight."

Already packed, Allen followed Kanda to his room, trying to make small talk about their mission. Like always, all he got out of the samurai were a few grunts and eye rolls, but Kanda never once snapped at him or told him to shut up. The Moyashi's mindless chatter was annoying, but Kanda was too happy that the boy was actually speaking to him to care. He had thoroughly expected Allen to give him the silent treatment, which would have made proving his feelings very difficult, so he was relieved to see that Allen wasn't angry at him.

Allen really wasn't thinking about whether or not he was mad at Kanda, or any of the other things that had happened that day. He was focused on the mission and didn't want any distractions. He didn't want to think about his relationship with the samurai, his pregnancy, the fact that he was going to be a parent, any of it. He was going to be a proper exorcist and focus on the akuma that needed to be freed and the possibility of an Innocence fragment that needed to be found.

Of course, with a day and a half long train ride and an additional six hour walk to their destination, all with the constant presence of the one person who irritated him the most, all he had was reminders of just how horribly his life had changed. And then there was Kanda, being a perfect gentleman about the whole thing. Allen was still on the receiving end of the usual jabs at his height and his lack of intelligence, but beyond that, the samurai was actually being what could only be described as nice. Normally Kanda would have spent a trip like that acting like Allen's mere presence offended him to the core, but this time his behavior bordered on friendly. Kanda even went so far as to ask if he was ok after his trips to relieve his morning sickness. And although Allen knew that the behavior change was because Kanda supposedly liked him now, something he still did not know how to process, he much preferred this version of Kanda to the old one that always had a stick up his ass.

So when Kanda's patience finally gave out, and he had to ask why the Moyashi wasn't angry at him, Allen felt like he owed him an honest answer. "I'm far from happy with what's happening, but I don't blame you for any of it. It's not your fault that I got pregnant, and while it may be your fault that I can't have an abortion, I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes; I can't be angry at you for not wanting me to kill your child. And while I'm pissed that we're probably going to be married before the weekend is over, it's the rules that took away my choice in the matter, not you. I hate you the exact same amount as I hated you yesterday."

Allen frowned as a different thought occurred to him. "Actually, if you truly are serious about this whole treating me better thing, it might even be safe to say that I hate you _less_ than I did yesterday. Not by much, but definitely less. Now, can we drop this and just focus on our mission?"

The rest of the trip passed in comfortable silence, until they were about an hour away from their destination and it suddenly started pouring. Both exorcists were cold, wet, and miserable by the time they reached the village.

Neither one of them were thrilled to see the crowd that was waiting for them. Years of experience had taught them to be wary of large groups of people, and they were even more put off by just how excited everyone was to see them. It was only a quiet whispered assurance from Allen that the mob surrounding them was indeed human that kept Kanda from drawing his sword on the villagers.

The tense moment died when the crowd broke into a joyous cheer, and Allen and Kanda were whisked inside and out of the rain. The people were chattering excitedly in their native language, but the pair caught the word "egzorcyści" enough times to figure out that it meant exorcists; the villagers knew who they were and were happy to see them. But while that was good, everyone continued to talk at them in Polish, and they were both immensely confused by what was happening. But it only took a couple minutes before the villagers realized that the exorcists didn't speak Polish and they pushed someone who spoke English to the front of the crowd.

The young woman was uncertain of her English skills and terrified of speaking for the whole village, but the fact that the exorcists were both incredibly attractive young men boosted her confidence; she desperately wanted to make a good impression on them. "Welcome, exorcists! Thank you for listening to our pleas and coming to save us! We know you have traveled far to get here, so we have prepared a feast in your honor, please partake."

It was only Kanda's hand grabbing him by the collar that stopped Allen from immediately throwing himself at the food. The samurai kept his grip on the Moyashi as he spoke for them both. "Thank you, but we have a job to do. Just point us in the direction of the shrine and we'll be on our way."

The room was silent for a moment while the woman translated Kanda's response for them, but then everyone began talking at once. The chaos only lasted for a few minutes before the growling of Allen's stomach silenced the crowd. They may not have spoken the same language, but that sound was universally understood. The young woman smiled, grabbing both exorcists by the wrists and pulling them towards the food covered tables. "Nonsense! You must eat to keep up your strength."

Allen dug in with gusto, making the villagers laugh with joy. The exorcists were there to save them from their plight, the least they could do was feed them and offer them some hospitality, and it made everyone feel good to know that their efforts were appreciated. No one noticed or cared that Allen ate enough food to feed a dozen people all by himself.

After the meal, Kanda once again tried to obtain directions to the shrine, but he was overruled quite forcefully. It was nearly midnight, and the villagers would not hear of their honored guests going out into the woods that late at night, no matter how badly they all wanted their problem taken care of. It was just too dangerous out there in the dark and in the rain.

A few other English speakers had come forward by that point, but the young woman was once again elected the spokesperson for the group. "Come, we have prepared beds for you, and after a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast, we will have someone escort you to the shrine."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Life sucks right now, and it's making writing really hard. I'm going to be putting some of my ongoing stories on slower update schedules, but this will not be one of them, so you guys are safe. ;)

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The next morning found Allen waking up in the same bed as Kanda. By the time they made it to their room the night before, he was chilled to the bone from being rained on, and even the hot shower the villagers had provided hadn't warmed him up. He was still shivering even after Kanda had piled all of the blankets on his bed, and it wasn't until the samurai climbed in bed with him and wrapped his arms around him that Allen was able to warm up enough to fall asleep. And now, in the clear light of day, Allen couldn't decide if he was embarrassed by how needy he had been or if he was grateful for the help, and recalling that Kanda had never once complained while helping him certainly didn't ease his confusion.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Kanda was waking up until the samurai had leaned over him and kissed him on the lips. And that snapped Allen right out of his introspection. "Would you stop doing that?"

Kanda scoffed once before kissing him again. "Nope."

Allen pulled away and climbed out of bed, using getting ready for the day as an excuse to put some distance between himself and his mission partner, who apparently wanted some sort of romantic relationship from him. Kanda sat up, but didn't move from the bed as he watched Allen scurry around. "Can I ask you a question, Moyashi?"

Allen glared at him and grumbled under his breath. "As long as it's not about the baby."

That caveat was exactly what Kanda was expecting to hear, so he forged ahead with his question. "You've expressed a lot of reluctance about being in a relationship with me, but you haven't once complained about our genders, so that makes me wonder, what's your sexual orientation?"

Caught off guard, Allen stumbled over his words trying to avoid the question; he was pretty certain that Kanda was trying to ask if he was gay, and he wasn't about to give the samurai a straight answer. "What's it to you if I like men or if I like women? Do you think getting me pregnant gives you the right to pry into my personal life? That's none of your business, so leave it alone."

Allen trying to avoid giving him a direct answer was also something Kanda was expecting to hear. It simply confirmed his suspicions that the Moyashi was gay. If the boy was homosexual, he certainly wasn't going to admit to it so easily. So he ignored Allen's protests and continued with his real question. "But you don't deny being gay. And if you like men, you must have thought about me in that way at least once before everything that's happened lately. So, are you attracted to me?"

Allen scowled suspiciously at Kanda for a moment before he decided that there was no point in lying. Kanda may have asked about physical attraction, but it wasn't because he was trying to get Allen to stroke his ego. And if he wanted to find out what the samurai's true motives were, he would have to answer truthfully. "Yes. From a solely sexual standpoint, the hottest person at the Order, regardless of gender, is you. I think that's a pretty undeniable fact by this point."

When Allen stood from where he'd been digging through his bag, he found his back pressed against Kanda's chest as the samurai held him close and whispered in his ear. "It's all a matter of taste, Moyashi. From where I'm standing, that title belongs to you."

Allen was completely taken aback by that comment; he had not been expecting Kanda to turn that around on him. He wanted to struggle out of Kanda's hold, but he was too stunned to move. He'd never been told he was attractive before, and he couldn't decide if he liked that or if he was pissed at Kanda for messing with his feelings. "Don't try to make shit up to make me feel better, Bakanda. It doesn't fit with your personality."

"It's the truth, Moyashi. To use your own words: 'from a solely sexual standpoint,' I've wanted you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. But that was four years ago. My feelings have only gotten deeper since then. And with the way things have changed lately..." In case the Moyashi didn't get what he meant, Kanda slid his hand from Allen's shoulder to his belly. He left it there long enough for the boy to get his point then he pulled it away before Allen could get angry at him for breaking the rules of their truce. "I am very much looking forward to our future together."

Following the samurai's reference to the unborn child that he was unwillingly carrying, Allen was done with their conversation. "Just say whatever it is you're wanting to say but won't because you think it will upset me."

"I love you, Allen." It may not have been true two days earlier, but it was definitely true now. The two day journey to this little town had only strengthened Kanda's feelings for his Moyashi.

Allen had no clue how to respond to the unexpected declaration - beyond getting angry and physically hurting Kanda, which he didn't really want to do in this small town where they were probably being watched. But he was saved from having to react by a knocking at the door.

Ania, the young woman who was their translator the night before, stuck her head in the room just seconds after the pair disentangled themselves. "Are you ready to go, honored exorcists? I have come to escort you to breakfast."

They followed the girl back to the same room as the night before, and while Allen ate, they listened to a much more detailed description of what was happening out at the shrine. And what they heard made Allen lose his appetite and put Kanda on edge. It wasn't all of the villagers who prayed at that particular shrine. It was just the women. Specifically, women who were pregnant or had recently given birth. The story hit far too close to home for the exorcists who had just recently learned that they were going to be parents, and the only silver lining, if they could even call it that, was that the women never trekked out to the shrine alone; they always had at least one companion, which meant that the akuma in the forest weren't singling out pregnant women.

Kanda's gut instinct was to order the Moyashi to stay behind, but that would definitely fall under 'nagging him about his pregnancy' and piss him off. And the fierce glare that Allen had aimed in his direction was definitely daring him to try, which only confirmed for Kanda that trying to prevent Allen from investigating would be bad for his health.

The mayor of the village tried to order Ania to escort them to the shrine, but she adamantly refused to put herself in danger, so one of the other English speakers stepped forward. Jakub was eager to put this whole thing to rest; the ritual of praying at that shrine was an important part of their culture, yet his wife wouldn't even step out of their house after her sister's death.

Allen and Kanda followed Jakub down the path to the shrine in silence. All three men were focused on the mission at hand, and Kanda was desperately trying not to think about the last time he'd trekked through the forest with the Moyashi; at least this path was well-maintained, making the similarities easier to ignore.

Neither Kanda nor Jakub noticed that Allen wasn't with them anymore until they heard the sounds of someone throwing up. They looked back to find Allen at the edge of the path, propped against a tree as he lost his breakfast into the bushes. Guessing that it was the Moyashi's morning sickness acting up, Kanda kept his mouth shut and waited for the boy to finish, masking his concern because of the presence of the villager; he knew Allen wouldn't want the people here to know that he, a male, was pregnant. Allen rejoined them as quickly as he could, making no mention of just how upset his stomach still was, and they continued on their way.

They only made it a few minutes down the path before Allen had to stop again, and by their third pit stop, Jakub could no longer hide his concern for the young exorcist. Their mission was important, but not nearly as important as the exorcist's health. He pestered Kanda for information about Allen's condition, and when the samurai wouldn't tell him anything, he began insisting that they turn back so that Allen could rest and get medical treatment.

Jakub's questioning went completely unnoticed by Allen, who was far too distracted by his morning sickness and the accompanying emotional trauma to be concerned with the random villager, but it annoyed the shit out of Kanda. He hid his irritation well, but by the fifth time Jakub suggested that they turn back, the samurai snapped. "He's _fine_. It's just a little vomiting. We're exorcists. Our jobs are too important to let something as insignificant as that interfere. He knew that when he joined up."

Jakub was almost convinced to drop it, but then Allen made a particularly bad retching sound, and he was once again worried for the boy's health. "Are you sure we do not need to turn back, General? Your companion-"

Kanda shot Jakub that fierce glare that was known for terrifying even the most hardened finder. The constant pestering only served to remind him that if he had his way, Allen wouldn't have even come on this mission. "Look, if he wanted to turn back, he would say so, and he probably wouldn't shut up about it either. Just leave him be."

Finally understanding that whatever was going on with younger exorcist was none of his business, Jakub kept his mouth shut and continued to lead the way to the shrine. But the next time they had to stop so that Allen could vomit - which he certainly wasn't going to mention was just dry heaving by this point, a thought occurred to him and he tried a different approach. "I understand that you do not want to turn back, but if the mission is that important, why do we not leave him behind? We can keep going and your companion can catch up when he's feeling better."

Back when they first met, Kanda would have had no problem with leaving the annoyingly naïve Moyashi behind when he caused problems like that, but not anymore. He was not about to leave Allen's side unless the Moyashi told him to. "We'll wait. We'll need him when we reach our destination, and I don't trust his sense of direction to get him there on his own. We'll waste more time trying to find him again if we leave him behind than we will by just waiting for him to finish."

"My sense of direction is not that bad, Bakanda!"

The outburst made Kanda look back at the Moyashi, wondering if it was instinct that made him argue like that or if he was actually feeling better. It was definitely the latter as some of the color had returned to the brat's porcelain skin and his enchanting silver eyes were bright and clear. But to be absolutely certain, Kanda baited him. "Che. If it weren't for that bottomless pit you call a stomach, you probably couldn't even find your way to the cafeteria."

"Take that back!" Allen stepped forward to take a swing at Kanda, but he stopped in his tracks as his left eye activated. "We must be close. I can sense the akuma."

Letting the petty fight drop, as he had only been egging the Moyashi on to see if he really was feeling better, Kanda turned his focus on the mission. "How many?"

Allen shook his head. "All I can sense so far is a lone level two and a handful of level ones. I won't know more until we get closer."

Jakub was confused by their exchange; he knew they were speaking English, but he had no clue what they were talking about. He was also trying to figure out how the exorcists could go from focused on the mission to fighting with each other at the drop of a hat like that, but he knew that if he asked, he wouldn't get an answer. "We are almost there. The shrine is less than half a kilometer away."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. A lot of stuff happens in this chapter...

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It wasn't long at all before Allen and Kanda arrived at the clearing that housed the small shrine. They stopped at the edge of the forest and surveyed the scene before proceeding. The shrine itself wasn't much to look at, just a whitewashed stone structure that was slightly taller than Allen, with a red tiled roof topped with a cross, housing a small statue of the Virgin Mary. The clearing was just as maintained as the path, and the colorful flowers that were arranged around the shrine were clearly planted deliberately and were well cared for by the people from the village. And though they were subtle, the signs of past akuma attacks were easily recognized by the exorcists.

One unspoken conversation later, and they knew that the first thing that they needed to do was get some privacy. Allen smiled charmingly at Jakub and did his best to convince the man to leave, which wasn't going to be an easy task if the man's reaction to his morning sickness was any indication. "Thank you for bringing us here. You should head back to the village now."

While Jakub knew that he needed to let them do their jobs, he also knew that both exorcists were barely more than children, and he could not, in good conscience, abandon them there. "But I cannot just leave you here! What if-"

Allen cursed inwardly over being right about Jakub's protectiveness, but he masked his irritation and switched tactics. "We're going to lure out the akuma. It's going to get messy, and we don't want you to get hurt in the crossfire. Your village has suffered enough; they don't need to lose anyone else. Let us do our jobs, and we'll catch up to you when we're done."

Jakub finally left once he was convinced that it was for his own safety, though the exorcists could tell that he wasn't going to actually go back to the village. He was going to stop and wait for them as soon as he was out of their line of sight. It was annoying, but at least he was gone and they could talk freely.

The moment they were alone, Kanda pounced on the question he'd been dying to ask for the last hour. He brushed a hand into Allen's soft white hair, making the younger look up at him. "Don't consider this nagging, Moyashi, but are you alright? Your morning sickness seemed worse today than it has been."

Allen snorted and rolled his eyes at Kanda. He was more annoyed by how observant Kanda had become lately than he was by the question. "That's not really surprising, Bakanda. I got some particularly stressful news at breakfast today."

Kanda hadn't thought that Allen would be personally bothered by the news that the akuma were attacking pregnant women, so that was more than a little startling to hear. "Che. Does that mean you've decided to start caring about the baby? Or are you just that squeamish?"

His answer was a foot stomping on his toes and his hand being jerked forcibly from the Moyashi's head. "_That_ was definitely nagging, Bakanda. Mind your own business."

Kanda scoffed and strode out into the clearing, deciding not to push the Moyashi any further. He was halfway to the shrine when he noticed that Allen hadn't budged from his spot at the tree line. And it was weird that he hadn't moved. Allen never let his personal feelings get in the way of a mission. "You coming, Moyashi?"

Allen snorted at the stupidity of the question. It was his part of their deal to protect himself and the baby, and Kanda should have known that. "Hell no. I'm staying here where I know it's safe. This shrine thing somehow reacts to pregnant women and Komui suspects that there might be Innocence here, which makes _me_ a perfect target. I'm not getting any closer to it than I already am."

The Moyashi was being his usual stubborn self, and that was something Kanda knew how to deal with. "Chicken."

Normally an insult like that would have pissed Allen off and made him race to beat Kanda to their destination, but today, he wasn't falling for it. "You're the one who looks like a girl. I may be pregnant, but you'll make better bait than I would."

"Excuse me?"

Allen rolled his eyes at how offended Kanda was by that statement of facts. "Just pretend to pray at the shrine, Bakanda. It'll draw the akuma out."

Still offended, Kanda aimed a domineering glare at the Moyashi. "Technically, I'm in charge, Moyashi. You can't give me orders. I should be telling you what to do."

"I'm sorry, _General_," Allen practically spat the word at Kanda. "Do you really want to try bossing me around?"

"Of course not. I'm not suicidal, Moyashi." Central may have trusted Allen enough to drop their surveillance, but his status as a Noah meant that they still refused to promote him to his rightful position. However, that didn't stop the generals from treating Allen as one of their own. He was a fellow critical breaker, which earned him their respect, but it was their sense of self-preservation that told them it was better to treat him as an equal rather than an underling. Even Kanda knew not to push Allen on that subject. "But you could just use your powers to draw the akuma out yourself."

"Yeah, the dozen that are here, as well as every other akuma within a hundred kilometer radius. I really doubt that you want to have another one of _those_ fights." Allen shuddered at the memories of the days he was on the run; he was very glad that he'd learned how to hide his Noah aura. "And I'm not saying that you have to actually pretend to be a girl, I'm saying that akuma are stupid and you look enough like a girl to fool them into coming out of hiding."

"Fine. Let's get this over with." Kanda's grumbling cut short as a disturbing thought occurred to him. This plan put him in a very vulnerable position and that might have been on purpose. The Moyashi might have been planning to just sit back and let the akuma kill him; with him out of the way, all of the boy's pregnancy problems would be solved. "You've got my back, right?"

Allen shrugged, not getting what the samurai was really asking. "I always do. Even when you don't want me to."

"Right." Kanda smirked to himself. That whole idea had been stupid. Allen cared far too much about other people to have even considered not helping him with this fight; the Moyashi certainly wasn't going to just stand by and let the akuma kill him.

The level two revealed itself within moments of Kanda kneeling in front of the shrine. It took aim at the figure below it, but it was shot through the stomach with Clown Belt before it got a single taunt out. The death of the level two immediately drew the other akuma out of hiding, but they were all level ones and they met the same fate as their leader before Kanda could even activate Mugen. The entire fight was over in less than thirty seconds, and neither exorcist had fully drawn their weapon.

Wary of what had happened the last time he'd let his guard down after an easy fight, Allen kept Crowned Clown activated as he used his cursed eye to search the surrounding forest for more akuma. Kanda knew exactly what Allen was doing, as he was worrying about the exact same thing, so he didn't bother trying to stop him. Instead, he took advantage of the moment to get a good look at the Moyashi. The boy looked much like he usually did, which wasn't at all surprising given that he'd stopped aging when his Noah awakened. He was nearly twenty now, but he didn't look a day over seventeen. The traces of emotional exhaustion around his eyes definitely weren't there three days ago; Allen still wasn't taking the discovery of his pregnancy well. He was also far too skinny, something that would definitely have to be rectified if he was going to deliver a healthy child. But then again, tendrils of Crowned Clown's cloak, much like the ones that had so quickly dispatched that group of akuma, were wrapped securely around his middle, protecting the unborn baby from the fight. On some level, Allen wasn't as against his pregnancy as he was acting. "I'm glad to see that you kept your promise to protect the baby, Moyashi."

The clueless look Allen gave him was adorable. "Huh?"

Kanda's hand was placed gently on his midsection, and Allen was surprised to find that he felt the touch not through his clothing but through Crowned Clown. He looked down at his waist and had to bite back a shocked gasp over what he saw. He had definitely not wrapped Crowned Clown around himself like that.

Allen tried to move the tendrils away, but they refused to budge. In fact, he got the distinct impression that Crowned Clown was angry at him just for _trying_ to move them. With an exasperated sigh, he deactivated his Innocence and turned his focus back on Kanda. "I didn't do that. Crowned Clown did. My Innocence apparently wants to protect the baby just as much as you do."

"Good." Kanda tousled Allen's hair before turning his attention back on the shrine. "Now, let's see if we can find any Innocence."

While Kanda examined the stone structure, Allen focused his attention on the flowerbeds; he was still very stubbornly refusing to get close to the shrine. It was only a few minutes into their search that Jakub returned, having decided that the quiet meant that the fight was over and it was safe to come back. Seeing what the two young men were doing, he flew into a panic and began ranting about how important the shrine was to the village. It was imperative that the exorcists not damage the shrine during their search.

Kanda was greatly annoyed by Jakub's pestering. Recovering whatever Innocence may be there was far more important than protecting the shrine, and he would demolish every single stone if it meant finding what they were after. He was on the verge of snapping, but just before his patience gave out, a bright green light flashed through the clearing. Kanda knew at once that it was from the Innocence they were looking for, and he turned towards Allen just in time to catch the death glare Allen was giving him. "You're such a bastard, Bakanda."

Before he could protest or wonder where the abrupt insult had come from, Allen had collapsed. Kanda rushed to his side, only to find the Moyashi unconscious with his arms wrapped around his middle. He checked the boy's pulse, and after determining that he was fine, he turned his attention on the area around them, looking for the Innocence fragment that the Moyashi had discovered.

When Kanda didn't immediately see anything, the meaning behind Allen's insult finally clicked. There was only one reason why finding the Innocence would make Allen angry at him:

The Innocence had bonded to the baby.

However, this wasn't the time to be concerned with his feelings about his child being an accommodator, so Kanda pushed his thoughts aside and focused on waking the Moyashi. He didn't want to carry the brat all the way back to town only to discover that he was wrong about where the Innocence was.

Allen woke with a groan, more than a little startled by the realization that his soft pillow was actually Kanda's lap. He glared up at the samurai, but the curses died in his throat as the nausea overwhelmed him; he barely rolled over in time to avoid vomiting on himself.

Kanda backed away when the Moyashi started throwing up, but he only moved so that he was out of the splash zone. He kept his hold on the boy, helping him sit up properly so that he wouldn't choke, and when he was done vomiting, Kanda helped him stand and move over to the bench on the path. He knelt in front of Allen, offering the boy his canteen so that he could rinse out his mouth. "What happened, Moyashi?"

Allen downed the entire canteen in one gulp. "I found the Innocence in one of the stones lining the flowerbeds. I went to grab it, but the moment I touched it, it reacted. It- it-"

Kanda was quick to supply the words he was having trouble saying. "It bonded to the baby."

Allen nodded once, blinking away his tears before glaring at Kanda. "If you had just let me have an abortion, none of this would be happening."

Kanda scoffed and tousled the Moyashi's hair. "Baka. Even if I had said yes, Komui was still going to make you wait and cool off before he did anything. This would have happened either way."

The glare the Moyashi gave him looked more like a pout. It was beyond adorable, and even though he knew Allen was pissed, Kanda did not resist the urge to kiss the brat. "Relax, Moyashi. Just accept that you're going to have a baby."

That was when Jakub finally spoke up. His English wasn't the best and they had lost him briefly, but that last sentence was something he understood quite clearly. "You are pregnant?"


	9. Chapter 9

Allen's glare deepened. He was already pissed at Kanda - mostly because he was someone to blame for what had just happened with the Innocence - but now he was furious. He had been trying very hard to keep his pregnancy a secret, which was something he thought Kanda understood, but now the samurai had opened his big mouth and ruined everything.

The village they were helping was populated by very devout Catholics; they hadn't said anything about their faith, but Allen knew that they were Catholic simply because they had sought help from the Order. And if there was one thing Allen knew about Catholics, it was that they hated homosexuals. The Order was a relatively safe place - he was an accommodator after all - but getting found out in a town like this was definitely going to be a problem. Sure, they hadn't pegged him as gay yet, but it was only a matter of time now that they knew he was pregnant.

Allen opened his mouth to swear at Kanda, but before a single syllable left his mouth, Jakub was speaking again. He had seen how pissed the young exorcist was, and he felt horrible for upsetting the village's savior. "I am very sorry. I did not realize that you were a woman. I did not know that females could be exorcists, so I assumed you were a man. You must think me so very disrespectful. I hope you can forgive my error in judgement."

That was not at all what Allen was expecting to hear. He wanted to be offended by the assumption that he was a girl, but it was far preferable to the truth of being a pregnant male, so he was quick to pounce on the lie that Jakub had unintentionally given him. "O-of course! I get that a lot. It's quite an understandable mistake."

Kanda interrupted before Jakub could start babbling, suspecting that the man was either going to continue to apologize or start waxing philosophic about feminism to try to get on the Moyashi's good side; neither of which were things he had any desire to hear. "We've got what we came for. Let's get back to town."

The trip back to town was faster without having to stop for Allen's morning sickness, but it certainly didn't feel that way to the two exorcists. Jakub would not shut up about how wonderful it was to meet a female exorcist, going on and on about how amazing it was, and his speechifying was incredibly annoying to both Allen and Kanda.

Recognizing the Moyashi's blindingly bright smile as fake was easy when he knew what Allen was lying about, and Kanda didn't blame him for being so eager to let Jakub think that he was a woman. The samurai usually hated it when Allen was so obviously lying about his true feelings, but in this case, the lie was much easier than explaining the truth, so he wasn't about to push the Moyashi into being honest. But on the other hand, Kanda had made a promise to himself that he was going to do whatever it took to convince Allen that he genuinely cared, which meant that he couldn't let the Moyashi suffer through this alone. He had to do something to make Allen feel better. He'd probably fail and piss the brat off instead, but he still had to try. So while Jakub talked on, he leaned closer to Allen and whispered casually in his ear. "I know you don't like it, but just let them think you're a woman. We'll leave as soon as you're done eating, so it's only for a couple hours."

Allen scowled darkly at that, letting some of the bitterness he felt seep out as he set Kanda straight. "No, it's for the rest of my life. According to the Order's rules, I'm a woman now, remember?"

Though he could tell Allen was angry, Kanda couldn't see what he had to be angry about. "And aside from Central, no one's going to actually care about that."

The Moyashi snorted in derision. "_You_ do."

The venom in the accusation made Kanda take a step back. "What are you talking about? I don't-"

Fixing Kanda with a steely glare, Allen hissed at him, barely remembering to keep his voice low so that Jakub wouldn't hear them. "You are planning to make me marry you, aren't you?"

Seeing how angry the Moyashi was, Kanda remained silent for a moment, really thinking through his response before answering the question. "I have no intention of forcing you to do anything of the sort. I want you to want to marry me. If it were up to me, we'd date for a few months and then we'd marry once you returned my feelings. But that's not going to be up to me, and until we meet with Komui, we really don't know how long we have before we have to get married. So unless you want to be on the run from the Order _again_, we're just going to have to do whatever Central tells us to do."

Allen chose not to respond to that. He couldn't tell if Kanda was being sincere or not, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. Plus, he was focused on something else. Now that the thought had occurred to him, the idea of running away again was very tempting. Until he thought it through a little more. It wouldn't solve his pregnancy problem, as he couldn't have a civilian doctor abort his pregnancy without revealing that he was male, but it would mean that he wouldn't have to marry Kanda. Assuming that Kanda didn't just follow him again. And if the samurai truly was being honest about his change of heart, Allen had no doubt that Kanda would track him down if he ran off. And if he weren't followed, he would lose the one thing that he was thankful for in this horrendous situation he had found himself in: his baby's father. If he ran off alone, he would be a single parent. And as much as he hated being forced into marrying Kanda, the alternative of being pregnant alone almost made him want to go through with their marriage. Almost. At the very least, it did make him want to stay with the Order. Running away was not an option.

The remainder of the walk back to the village was silent once Jakub figured out that the exorcists weren't listening to him anymore. But the quiet didn't last for nearly long enough, as it seemed like the entire village was just standing around waiting for them to return. Allen and Kanda may not have been able to understand the excited whispers of gossip that were traveling through the gathered crowd, but it was good for Allen's sanity that they couldn't.

As soon as they had left the village that morning, Ania had been quick to tell absolutely everyone that the exorcists had slept in the same bed the night before. And while she had no proof that they had also had sex, she still asserted that the messed up blankets meant that they had. None of the others wanted to believe that the two male exorcists had broken the holy laws of the order they served, but the possibility of the pair being homosexual was by far the most interesting thing that had happened in their town in decades, so they were all still gossiping about it hours later. Of course, once he heard the gossip, Jakub was quick to set them straight: the younger exorcist was actually a woman, and it was her husband and the father of her unborn child that she had slept with that night.

This was all happening in Polish, so Allen was at a complete loss for what caused the women of the village to suddenly swarm around him, chattering like they had just met royalty. He wasn't confused for long before Ania stepped in, apologizing on behalf of the entire village for mistaking his gender and translating the many things the village women wanted to say to him. Allen didn't like the assumptions they were making about what life as a female exorcist was like - he knew from listening to Lenalee's stories that they were _very_ wrong - but he wasn't about to correct them. He just had to be polite while they fed him once more and then he wouldn't have to deal with them again.

It was easier said than done. Especially once the feminist babble morphed into questions about his pregnancy. But as he struggled for answers that would get them to back off, Allen suddenly had an idea of how to change the subject to something he was much more comfortable with. It had the added bonus of not being a lie, so he wasn't risking Kanda's ire by saying it. "The food here agrees with my morning sickness much better than the food at the Order. I really wish I knew what was in these dishes so that I could order them from the chef back home."

Ok, so maybe that last part was a lie. Jerry probably knew at least a few, if not all, of the recipes for the dishes they'd been served. But the villagers didn't need to know that. Not when Allen was intentionally trying to get the women to talk about the food instead of his pregnancy.

It worked. The women were all too happy to write down names and ingredients and recipes for him; it was the least they could do for their new heroine. But when one woman tried to give him her great-grandmother's handwritten cookbook, things got complicated again. Allen refused to take the book because of its sentimental value, but that offended the woman, and she only dropped the issue once someone suggested that she copy down her favorite recipes and give that to him instead.

By the time the meal was over, Allen had the recipe for every single dish he'd eaten while he was in the village, as well as several others, and he hadn't had to talk about his pregnancy with strangers. Ania offered to translate the recipes for him, but both Allen and Kanda were incredibly ready to leave, so he assured her that he would be able to find someone back at the Order to translate them.

.x.x.

The train ride back to the ark gate was quiet. With the exception of Kanda checking up on Allen after his bouts of morning sickness, neither exorcist said much of anything. Allen was much too stressed over everything that had happened lately to make his usual small talk; he just wanted to get home so he could be alone. The Moyashi had always been easy to read, and while Kanda wished Allen would open up about what he was thinking, he also recognized that he'd pushed the boy enough in the last few days and now was the time to let him have his space. So they focused on writing their mission reports and left each other alone with their thoughts.

Upon reaching headquarters, they made their way to Komui's office to turn in their reports. The supervisor was awake and waiting for them, having been alerted to their arrival by the guards posted at the ark gate. "Welcome back! Did you find any Innocence?"

The question upset Allen, who was still unable to accept that he was carrying an accommodator, and he didn't hesitate to share his frustrations. Without uttering a single word, he slammed his report down on Komui's desk and stormed off, nearly pulling the door off its hinges as he slammed it closed.

Kanda watched the Moyashi leave before calmly handing his own report to Komui. "The Innocence bonded to the baby. The Moyashi's understandably still a little pissed about it."

The samurai turned to follow after Allen but was stopped when Komui grabbed his wrist. He glared death at the man for the physical contact, but Komui didn't let go. "May I speak to you alone, Kanda?"

"About?" Kanda didn't know why he bothered asking. He was pretty sure that he knew exactly what Komui wanted to talk about, and he knew that it was something that he didn't want to discuss.

"Allen and the baby."

"No." Kanda had to resist the urge to swear. "I've already told you everything you need to know. The rest can wait until Friday."

Komui was not about to give up so easily. "Do you really understand that you're going to be a father in eight months?"

The ridiculousness of the question made Kanda scoff. "Of course I do. What is it you're really after?"

While the conversation had been predictable so far, Komui's next question was anything but. "Is having a baby really so important to you that you won't let Allen have an abortion?"

"I'm doing that for him just as much as I am for myself." Kanda thought that his reasoning was obvious, but the blank look on the supervisor's face said that it wasn't. Which meant that he was actually going to have to spell things out for Komui. "If Allen aborts his baby, it's only going to be a couple months at most before he realizes that he murdered an innocent child. He'd never be able to handle that guilt and end up killing himself. I don't think _anyone_ here wants that. It's far better to let him be pissed at me for a few weeks."

Komui was silent for an uncomfortably long time. He saw the point Kanda was trying to make, and while he felt stupid for not seeing it himself, he was mostly just confused by Kanda's out of character compassion for Allen. Then again, this wasn't the first time Kanda had acted with uncharacteristic softness. "You really do love him, don't you?"

Not wanting to dignify that with a response, Kanda rolled his eyes and stalked out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: As always, thanks for reviewing, favoriting, and/or following. And sorry for the lack of update last month.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Just thinking about being examined by Hevlaska had always made Allen's skin crawl, but ever since his Noah awakened, that feeling was ten times worse. His inner Noah tolerated Crowned Clown, and he was usually fine around the other exorcists, but it was hard to suppress the urge to destroy that he got when he was around all of the Innocence that Hevlaska was storing. And actually being examined... well, there was a reason why they didn't do that anymore.

But the Innocence fragment that they had just found changed things. Allen had questions and theories that could only be answered by talking with Hevlaska and letting her examine him. So rather than wait for someone to order him down there, he decided to take the initiative and go right away. Plus, he'd much rather be alone with her for this conversation than have someone observing them.

Hevlaska greeted him with the same forced cheerfulness as he greeted her; both of them wanted to be nice, but they were still wary of the other. She knew that an exam was the only reason he would come to see her, but it was strange that he was alone. Allen had never come for an exam of his own free will before; someone usually had to twist his arm to make him cooperate. But as soon as she sensed the second piece of Innocence on him, she knew exactly what was going on.

Once the trivial pleasantries were exchanged, Allen decided to jump straight to the point; it was embarrassing, but he would have to tell Hevlaska he was pregnant to get the answers he needed. Then again, he may not have to tell her anything. "Have you talked to Komui lately?"

Hevlaska shook her head. "Not about you. But I gather that this is about your pregnancy..."

She chuckled briefly at the stunned look on his face before taking pity on him and explaining. "I can sense the presence of the child's Innocence from here." When he didn't react, she continued to speak. "You are not the first. In all the time I have been with the Order, I have seen three other men in your same condition, and I recognize the fear and confusion in your eyes."

Not wanting to acknowledge that he was scared, Allen chose to focus on something else Hevlaska had said. "So the fragment we found really did bond to the baby. I was hoping we were wrong about that."

The statement confused Hevlaska. Moreso than anyone else, Allen had always been excited to find new accommodators. He clearly wasn't happy to be pregnant, and she knew he wasn't in a relationship, so she was expecting him to be relieved that his child would be an exorcist, as it would give his accidental pregnancy a purpose. She didn't understand why he wouldn't be happy about this. "And why is that?"

Allen frowned in both disappointment and embarrassment. "It's not going to let me have an abortion."

"You are right, it will not." Hevlaska wanted to say more, but Allen probably had enough people telling him what he should do and how he should feel, so she would keep her opinions to herself. She took it upon herself to fill the awkward silence that followed. "Was that all you needed? Or did you want me to try to examine you?"

Allen shrugged, his frown deepening. "I don't want to, but Komui's probably going to try to make me do it at some point, so I may as well get it over with now, since I'm already here."

Hevlaska beckoned for him to step closer, and they braced themselves for what they were both certain would happen next. It had happened before, and it wasn't pleasant for either of them. The moment Hevlaska's tendrils would make contact with Allen, his Noah would feel threatened and lash out violently, trying to sever the connection. It was the exact same reaction that Crowned Clown had to being examined, so it had been no surprise to Hevlaska when it first happened, but unlike with the Innocence, the Noah actually hurt her.

And this examination was no different. With both Crowned Clown and Allen's Noah pushing her away, Hevlaska barely made contact with the baby's Innocence before the pain became too much and she had to let go.

While she collected herself, Allen's knees gave out and he collapsed to the ground. His whole body ached from the ordeal, and he had to struggle to not throw up; while Hevlaska's exams had always hurt, this one had been particularly bad.

After getting to his feet, Allen smiled hesitantly at Hevlaska, but she spoke before he could apologize for hurting her. "There is nothing new I can tell you, Allen. As we suspected, I was not able to get a good enough read on the baby in the short time I examined you. I could try again, but that would just be wasting both of our time."

After Allen thanked her and left, Hevlaska reflected on the results of his examination. While it was true that she hadn't been able to examine the baby, she had lied about not having anything new to tell him. However, she was not about to tell Allen what she'd seen until after she discussed it with Komui. After all, it could have just been her imagination that his Noah seemed to be just as accepting of the baby's Innocence as it was of Crowned Clown, and that was something that needed to be investigated further before they scared Allen with it. Until she was certain that it was true, she was not going to tell Allen that his Noah wanted his baby to live.

.x.x.

The next day was Friday, and with the exception of passing each other in the cafeteria, Allen and Kanda didn't see each other again until they were summoned to Komui's office to discuss their situation.

Unsure of where to start, Komui stared critically at both exorcists, trying to get a read on their moods. They were both temperamental when it came to their personal lives, and this conversation could go very badly if he approached it wrong. However, rather than waiting for Komui to collect his thoughts, Allen jumped right in. "Can we just do this and get it over with?"

Komui sighed and started in on the speech he had prepared. He was uncomfortable, but Allen was right; it was best to just get started. "Well, like I told you last week, because you're pregnant-"

Allen was quick and forceful in cutting Komui off. The supervisor had misunderstood his request, and he was going to rectify that as quickly as he could. "No. Just marry us so we can be done talking about it and move on with our lives."

The statement stunned both of the other men in the room. Neither could believe that they had just heard _Allen_ actually ask to get married. Komui frowned as he questioned the younger exorcist. "I thought you didn't want to get married."

Allen shrugged. "I don't. But _he_ clearly hasn't changed his mind about marrying me, and between the rules and the Innocence, I'm stuck carrying his baby. I know I have to be married to him before I give birth, so I'd rather just get it over and done with. There's no point in wasting time trying to fight the inevitable."

"Are you sure, Moyashi?" Kanda slid closer to Allen on the couch and wrapped his arms around the Moyashi. As much as he had liked hearing Allen agree to marry him, he knew that the boy's motives had nothing to do with actually liking him, and that made him sad. "You know that I'm fine with waiting. We don't have to-"

The hug made Allen uncomfortable, as he knew that the feelings of care that it conveyed were genuine, so he jerked away, almost falling off the couch in his attempt to escape. He would never admit it - not even to himself - but he had liked having Kanda treat him like his boyfriend. The samurai had made him feel like he mattered, and outside of his utility as an exorcist, it had been a long time since he felt wanted. Which only made him more uncomfortable with this whole situation. "I know. And I'm sure. There's no way out of getting married, so I'd rather do it before Central shows up and tries to meddle in our lives."

Before the young men could start arguing, Komui took control of the situation. Like Kanda, he wished that Allen's motivations for agreeing to their marriage were based on feelings of love rather than hopelessness, but this was clearly as close as they were going to get, and having Allen actually consent to getting married was a huge weight off his shoulders. At the very least, it meant that Allen wasn't going to put up a fight. "Well then, if you really are certain that this is what you want to do, I'll start getting everything ready. Come back at this time tomorrow, and we'll get you two married."

The overwhelming disappointment Allen felt made him want to cry. The whole point of agreeing to this was to get it out of the way, so that he didn't have to think about it anymore. Waiting even one day was an unacceptable delay. "But isn't it just a paper to sign? Why do we have to wait?"

That made Komui laugh a little. "Because I don't have the documents ready; I still have to write them. You two will also need wedding rings for once the ceremony is over, and I'll have to locate someone to witness everything, since I assume that you aren't going to be ready to tell your friends about this any time soon. Ideally, I'd also have a new room ready for you, but that's not nearly as urgent as the other things, and for now, sharing one of your existing rooms will be good enough."

It had slipped Allen's mind that being married to Kanda would mean living with him, but now was not the time to focus on that. "Ok, then tomorrow it is."

Without waiting for a response, Allen stalked out of the room. Kanda followed after him, calling out for him to stop, but he was completely oblivious to that until the samurai caught up to him and he found himself lifted off his feet. He struggled in Kanda's hold, but the samurai didn't put him down until they were in an empty room, and even then, he kept him in a tight embrace. "And now that we're alone?"

Allen knew what the question meant, and even though his promise to be honest with Kanda had technically already expired, he still decided to answer it truthfully. "I meant everything I said in there. I don't want to marry you, but there's no way out of it. I just want to get it done with so that we can finally stop talking about it."

"Allen-"

Before he could complain, the Moyashi kept talking. He knew exactly what Kanda wanted to say to him and he didn't want to hear it. "I hate the drastic turn my life has taken, but I don't blame you for any of it. The last thing I want in this situation is to be a single parent, so as long as you truly want to be your baby's father, I can put up with all the other things you're putting me through."

"Thank you. But that wasn't what I was going to say." He waited until Allen looked up to continue, so that he could look him in the eyes. He wanted the Moyashi to know that he was serious. "You're up to something. What is it you're planning?"

The question made Allen frown. He didn't like that he was that easy to read, but more than that, he didn't want to tell Kanda what he was thinking. It would make him mad, and that was something that Allen didn't want to deal with. But he also knew that Kanda actually wanted them to be married, so he did deserve to know what the plan was. "Because I'm pregnant, I'm a woman, so I have to marry you and carry your baby. But once the baby's born, I'll be a man again, and then we'll be able to get a divorce and pretend that this whole thing never happened."

"Moyashi..." Kanda sighed in disappointment, but before he could express just how sad the thought of divorce made him, a different thought occurred to him. Central was never going to let them get divorced. According to the rules of the Catholic Church, divorce was just as bad as abortion. Which meant that the loophole that Allen was so happy to have found didn't really exist. The question now was, should he tell Allen that or let him continue on in ignorance?


	11. Chapter 11

Kanda couldn't decide which he wanted to do, so he phrased it as a hypothetical question to try to gauge Allen's reactions. "And what are you going to do if Central won't let us get divorced?"

Allen simply shrugged at the question Kanda thought would freak him out. He had thought this through completely before he ever suggested any of it. "I don't know. But it's the only possible way out of this, so it's what I have to hope for."

Kanda's gut reaction was to get angry over how desperately the Moyashi wanted to get out of marrying him, but at the same time, he knew that if he wanted Allen to return his feelings someday soon, he was going to have to be patient with him. And once he pushed aside the urge to yell, he was able to actually take in the look of bitterness on the Moyashi's face. "Damn. You're adorable even when you're rejecting me."

Allen blinked in confusion. Even after almost a week, he still couldn't believe that Kanda was attracted to him, but that wasn't his main problem with the statement. "I'm not rejecting you. In fact, I've said several times now that I'll marry you, so wh-?"

Kanda sighed and adjusted his hold on the body in his arms, freeing up his hand so that he could tangle it into Allen's soft, white hair and make the brat look at him. "You followed it up with saying that you plan to divorce me the first chance you get. That's a rejection, Moyashi."

Allen frowned and tried, unsuccessfully, to escape from Kanda's embrace. He wished the samurai would stop touching him like that, but he also knew that actually trying to make him stop doing it would only make him do it more often. "Don't take it personally, Bakanda. None of this has anything to do with you."

That made Kanda snort in derision. "I'm the person you're marrying, Allen. This has _everything_ to do with me. Or have you already forgotten that our marriage is what I want?"

"Of course not! You won't let me forget!" Allen really wished that he could forget that Kanda wanted to be in a relationship with him, but even without Kanda's constant reminders, his pregnancy made that impossible. And that only made him more frustrated with their current conversation. "But what about what _I_ want?! Why should your desires matter more than mine?!"

While Kanda didn't like how genuinely upset Allen sounded, the Moyashi was being honest about his feelings for a change, so he decided to argue back rather than try to calm him down. "Because you're the one who wants to kill our unborn child. You're scared and confused, and you're not thinking clearly. I-"

"Would you stop throwing that in my face?!" Allen tried to hold them in, but the angry tears streamed down his face anyway; he hated how emotional his pregnancy was making him. "Every time I say something that you disagree with, you invalidate my opinion because I want an abortion. You make me feel like less of a person, and I've frankly had more than my fair share of that! If you really love me like you claim, you wouldn't be putting me down like that!"

Allen was not expecting Kanda to respond to his outburst by kissing him, but that was exactly what the samurai did. Kanda leaned in and silenced the Moyashi the only way he knew how; he still desperately wished Allen would return his kisses, but for now, it was good enough that the kissing made the brat shut up. "I was only saying it to press your buttons and get you to be honest with me."

The explanation made no sense to Allen. He knew that Kanda liked to intentionally piss him off, but he could usually tell when the samurai was doing that, yet he hadn't even sort of picked up on it this time. He waited for Kanda to explain further, but it quickly became clear that Kanda was waiting for him to say something first. "I don't understand."

Kanda sighed and tousled the Moyashi's hair; the brat was being both adorable and annoying, and that was trying his patience. "I don't think less of you for wanting an abortion, I'm disappointed in you. You have the biggest heart of everyone I know, but you can't love your own child, and that's something that I just can't wrap my head around. It's honestly weirder to me that you don't want the baby than it is that you're pregnant. So I've been pushing it to try to get you to realize that you're being stupid, but if all it's doing is making you feel inferior, it's clearly not working. So let's drop this and change the subject."

Allen was momentarily frozen in shock. What Kanda had just said to him could only be interpreted as an apology, yet Kanda _never_ apologized. For anything. And it was especially weird that the samurai would apologize for hurting his feelings. Collecting himself, Allen managed to stammer out a response, though he almost wished that Kanda would continue to explain why he was acting the way he had been. "Did you have something in mind?"

Kanda shrugged nonchalantly, though inwardly he was praying that this wouldn't start another argument. "Whose room are we going to share?"

The blank way Allen stared at him told him that he didn't understand the question, and Kanda was both annoyed by his cluelessness and aroused by how adorable the confused Moyashi looked. "If we're married, we have to live together, so...?"

Kanda let the question trail off when the confusion faded from Allen's expression. After a moment of thought, the Moyashi spoke. "Yours, I guess. It's bigger and in a more private location than mine."

Allen knew better than to say that he didn't want them to live together. For starters, Kanda undoubtedly already knew that, but Allen also knew that saying it out loud wouldn't make him feel better. He had no choice but to live with Kanda while they were married, and even if they did get divorced, they would probably still have to live together for the child's sake. "Though if you think that I'm going to completely give up my room, you've-"

Kanda cut him off with a kiss, knowing exactly where he was going with the challenge. "No. I know that you need time. And your own private space. I just wanted to know where we'd be sleeping so that we'll have an answer for Komui when he asks."

Allen frowned in embarrassment, burying his face in Kanda's chest and returning one of the samurai's embraces for the first time. He felt incredibly stupid for what he had almost said, but the way Kanda was holding him made him feel safe and secure. "Right. You of all people understand what it's like to need time alone. Are you ever going to tell anyone where you disappear to when Lavi's pestering you?"

The joke made Kanda laugh a little, and even though he knew the question was rhetorical and Allen didn't actually expect an answer from him, he did so anyway. "Maybe. ...Someday. But you'll have to change your mind about divorcing me before that can ever happen."

.x.x.

Allen and Kanda spent the next day in silence, but despite never speaking a single word to each other, they never left the other's side. The fact that they would be married before the day was over scared both of them, and knowing that they weren't alone gave them comfort, but they were aware that they were scared for very different reasons, so they didn't try to talk about it, knowing that it would only start another fight and make them both feel worse. It was enough to simply be in each other's presence.

When the time came, they went both quickly and reluctantly to Komui's office, apprehensive yet ready to get it over with and put an end to the tension they'd been feeling all day. Of course, the first thing Komui did was try once again to start a conversation with them about their feelings, which was annoying in and of itself, but Reever was present to be the witness to their wedding, and they had to explain to him why they were getting married, and it turned out that telling someone that they were expecting a baby was not something either young man was ready to do yet.

But once Komui got the hint that they didn't want to talk, he went straight to business. Less than five minutes later, Allen and Kanda had repeated the traditional wedding vows and signed their marriage license. Exchanging rings was a little more difficult, as Allen balked at the idea of wearing something that declared to the world that he was married, but the ease and confidence with which Kanda wore his own ring distracted him from his feelings.

When their shotgun wedding was over, Allen and Kanda walked hand in hand up to Allen's bedroom. Allen didn't particularly want to be holding hands with Kanda in public - or at all - but when Kanda had taken his left hand, he found that he couldn't pull away. The samurai's strong hold pressed his new ring uncomfortably into his finger, reminding him of the fact that they were married now, but at the same time, the grasp was warm and comforting, and it made him feel wanted. His life had been spiraling out of control lately, but at least his forced marriage was to someone who wanted to be with him.

Upon reaching Allen's room, the pair began packing up his things to start the move into sharing a room. They only grabbed the necessities - the things Allen would need while they lived in Kanda's room, as the rest could wait until Komui had finished preparing their new room. It didn't take very long, since Allen had always been a minimalist when it came to possessions, and once it was done, they took the things down to Kanda's room in the generals' wing.

It took even less time to unpack the things that they had just packed up, and though it was still early, they decided it was time to turn in for the night. It had been a long, emotionally tense day, and they both needed sleep.

Allen had relaxed once their wedding was over, but as they moved to climb into bed together, all of his stress and anxiety returned. He had thoroughly analyzed the situation and decided that it was best to obey the rules and marry Kanda, but he had overlooked one important thing, which he suddenly discovered in that moment: this was their wedding night. He was going to have to have sex with Kanda tonight, to fulfill their marriage contract and consummate the relationship, yet he could barely tolerate having the samurai hold his hand. Letting Kanda have his body was going to be incredibly unpleasant, but he had no choice. Besides, his body had already been defiled and impregnated; no one other than Kanda was ever going to want it, so he may as well give it to him, even if his own heart wasn't in it.

Contrary to his expectations, Kanda merely kissed him once before rolling back to his side of the bed to go to sleep. The action severely confused Allen; it was surprising and baffling that the samurai hadn't even tried to touch him. "That's it? You're not going to...?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow at the unfinished question. He knew exactly what the Moyashi was trying to ask, but he couldn't figure out _why_ he was asking about that. It was glaringly obvious to him that Allen wasn't ready for sex. "Do you want me to?"

Allen briefly debated lying, but Kanda always seemed to know when he did that, so he decided to be honest. "No, but-"

Kanda didn't need to hear what followed that, so he was quick to interrupt. "I'm not going to rape you, Allen."

The way the Moyashi's silver eyes widened with shock was adorable. Kanda leaned in and kissed his forehead before tousling his hair. "Sex can wait until you're ready for it."

The statement made Allen feel both better and worse. "And if I'm never ready?"

Kanda laughed at that. "That's not going to happen. It won't be long at all before your pregnancy hormones kick in and you become so horny that you're willing to let anything with a pulse fuck you. And that's when I'll step in."

Allen kicked him in the shin, which was the exact reaction Kanda had been expecting his joke to get. He kissed Allen briefly as he turned serious. "You're not the type to cheat, Moyashi. You may not want to be married to me, but you respect the rules enough that you're not going to have an affair. So when you decide you want sex, I'm who you'll come to. I don't know how long that's going to take, but I'm willing to wait."

It was starting to piss Allen off how kind and considerate Kanda had become over the last week; his behavior had to be a trick of some kind, and Allen was pretty certain that sex was the end goal of that trick. "But you have needs. Are you-?"

Kanda didn't want to know what the rest of that question was. "You were my first too, Moyashi. You are the only person I want to have sex with, so I'm not going to cheat on you. And since you seem to be having trouble getting this through your thick skull, I'll say it again: I'm not going to rape you. I want you to want to sleep with me."


	12. Chapter 12

The overwhelming relief that came from learning that Kanda didn't expect sex from him led to Allen crying himself to sleep in Kanda's arms. The brat's tears were getting incredibly annoying - Allen had cried more in the last week than he had in the four and a half years he'd been with the Order - yet Kanda loved the honesty and openness that they represented. It made him believe that the blatant hostility the Moyashi was showing towards him wasn't how he truly felt, and that in turn gave him hope that he could get Allen to love him.

Kanda and Allen had slept in the same bed before, as the inns they stayed at on missions often had only one bed available, and this wasn't even the first time they had woken up in each other's arms, as they occasionally needed the warmth, but this morning was different. Whether they liked it or not, they were married now, and things between them had changed.

Waking up to find Kanda's arms still wrapped around him was quite annoying to Allen, but he unwillingly resigned himself to the fact that the cuddling was never going to stop so long as he shared a bed with the samurai. He knew that the cuddling wasn't a romantic gesture, it was symbolic of possession, and nothing he said on the subject would make Kanda quit doing it. As far as Kanda was concerned, Allen belonged to him now. Allen hated that, but it was just the samurai's nature, and until he had the baby, he was stuck with it.

He tried to get up but found that he couldn't move. Kanda was still asleep, yet his hold on the body in his arms wouldn't budge. Allen was going to have to wake him up if he wanted to do anything other than just lay there. He knew things that would wake the samurai in an instant, but claiming that there was an akuma when there wasn't one was not something an exorcist should do, so Allen had to settle for less drastic measures.

Of course, about ten seconds later, when Kanda shifted his weight on the bed, Allen immediately regretted ever trying to wake him. The samurai had rolled closer to him, if such a thing were even possible, and now there was something quite hard pushed against Allen's thigh. Even half asleep, Allen knew exactly what it was, and it made his skin crawl. Logically, he knew that he had no right to be disgusted by having Kanda's erection touch him, not when it had been inside him god knows how many times that day in the forest, but he was not in a place where he was thinking logically.

"What's wrong, Moyashi?" While Kanda had only just woken and didn't know what was upsetting the boy in his arms, he could tell that Allen was upset and he wanted to at least try to make him feel better.

Allen ignored the question, not recognizing the sincerity in it. "Do you mind letting go of me? I have to pee and you've got a problem to take care of."

The reference to his erection only made Kanda adjust his hold on the Moyashi and push his bulge more firmly against Allen's thigh. "But I want you to take care of it for me."

The blatant way the samurai was asking for sex startled Allen. Just last night he had been willing to wait, yet now he was trying to instigate things. But Allen was far too scared to ask what had changed his mind; he couldn't risk learning that the sensitivity from the night before had been a lie. "Can't you just do whatever it is you normally do to get rid of it?"

Kanda was silent for a moment before he spoke. "This has never happened before."

The ridiculousness of the statement made Allen laugh despite how uncomfortable he was with the situation. "You're twenty-two, Bakanda. And I'm pregnant with your baby. It's not possible for you to have never had an erection before."

Instead of spouting off the insult to his intelligence that Allen was expecting to get in return, Kanda sighed and quietly set him straight. "That's not what I meant, brat. I've obviously had other erections, but I've never ... woken up with one before."

There was something in his voice that made Allen pause. "Wait. You're serious? You really haven't-?"

But Kanda had reached the limit of his emotional honesty and shoved him away. "Che. Don't you have to pee?"

Allen sat up slowly, unable to decide if he wanted to know more or if he wanted to take the out Kanda had given him. But when he looked back at the samurai to find him curled up with his back towards him, he found the behavior to be so out of character that he just had to find out more. He had never seen Kanda embarrassed before.

Kanda was surprised when Allen didn't get up from the bed. He had expected the boy to flee the moment he'd been let go; the Moyashi clearly hadn't bought his attempt to initiate sex by being honest about his feelings. And the coldness in Allen's voice when he spoke only confirmed that he was suspicious of Kanda's motives. "Are you being serious or are you just trying to manipulate me into having sex with you?"

That was a question that had a right answer and a wrong answer - one that would calm the Moyashi down and one that would make him attempt murder. Kanda actually knew which was which for a change, but neither of the options that Allen had presented were the true answer to his question, and despite desperately wanting to end the discussion about his feelings, he knew that his current discomfort was nothing compared to the hell Allen was experiencing, so he owed his pregnant husband an honest answer. "...Both."

Allen was dumbfounded by the response. If it was indeed the truth, Kanda wasn't just admitting to trying to get sex out of him, he was confirming that he was sexually inexperienced, and while that supported his claim that their little tryst had been his first time, all it really did was further convince Allen that Kanda was willing to say and do anything to have sex with him. "So then you were lying last night?"

And the Moyashi was back to being openly hostile. Kanda sighed and bit back the urge to snarl at the brat. "Look, I meant everything I said last night. I'm willing to wait for you to be ready for sex. I'm not going to force myself on you, but that doesn't mean that I'm just going to sit around and do nothing until you get up the courage to initiate things. I want to have sex with you, Moyashi. And I'm going to keep trying until I get what I want. That being said, it was not my intention to push the issue again so soon. I was going to wait a few days, but apparently, my body had other plans."

Kanda stopped abruptly. He had been about to apologize, but seeing that Allen still didn't understand what he was trying to tell him, he decided that the gesture would be pointless. "Don't hurt yourself thinking about it, Moyashi. Just go to the bathroom."

This time Allen actually dropped the subject and left the room. Kanda groaned in relief, though he knew that they'd probably be talking about this again several more times before the Moyashi was finally ready to sleep with him.

When Allen finished using the toilet, he didn't come all the way back into the room and just hovered in the bathroom doorway. Kanda could tell that the awkwardness was because the Moyashi was trying to think of a way to broach a sensitive subject, but he was beyond done talking about his feelings by that point, so he ignored the brat in favor of getting dressed. It was easier said than done, as Allen was especially obnoxious when he was being nervous silently, but Kanda at least managed to not ask the boy what was going on in his head.

Once he was dressed, Kanda stepped into the bathroom to brush his hair, and that was when Allen finally found the courage to ask his question; Kanda's hands were busy with his hair, so he didn't run the risk of getting hit for asking his question. "Can I go eat breakfast now?"

Kanda was floored by the simple question and dropped his hairbrush. The handle snapped in two when it hit the floor, but he didn't notice. He was too busy trying to process the ridiculous thing that Allen had just asked.

The wide-eyed stare Kanda was giving him made Allen shrink in on himself and hide behind the doorframe. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and Kanda's anger as he could. He knew he shouldn't have asked such a stupid question; Kanda hated his eating habits and was going to put him through hell before he'd allow him to go eat.

But while Kanda was pissed off by the question, it wasn't for the reasons Allen was thinking. Kanda understood the true reason why the Moyashi had asked his permission for something so basic, and that reason was so monumentally stupid that it made Kanda want to hurt the boy for even thinking such a thing. The Moyashi clearly thought that being married to Kanda made him Kanda's slave, and that had to be the most moronic thing that Kanda had ever heard from the brat.

He may have been furious, but Kanda knew that he had to remain outwardly calm and set Allen straight before the misunderstanding went any further. "Let me get this straight. You want me to give you permission to go down to the cafeteria?"

Allen nodded and shrunk further in on himself to make himself less of a target. "I'm sorry. I should have just waited for you to tell me to go. I never should have asked something so impertinent."

Kanda stomped closer and grabbed Allen, firmly wrapping his hands around the boy's upper arms so that he couldn't escape. He was seeing red, but he managed to restrain himself - mostly because the boy was carrying their child. "If you weren't pregnant, I'd slap you into next week for that comment."

Scared to the point of almost wetting himself, Allen's restrained tears finally started to fall, and he began muttering repeated apologies as Kanda bodily moved him into a nearby chair. Once the Moyashi was seated, Kanda growled fiercely at him. "Stop talking."

Allen's mouth snapped shut immediately at the demand, though his tears only fell faster; he was kicking himself internally for pissing off his husband on their first day of marriage and probably making the rest of their marriage even more miserable than it was already going to be.

Kanda sighed in irritation. Getting Allen to see reason was proving to be a herculean task, and while he wished that he didn't have to be the one to do it, he knew that the Moyashi was never going to believe the truth if it came from someone other than him. "I want to know where you got the idiotic idea that being married makes you my slave. Though that certainly explains why you can't seem to get it through your head that I'm not going to force you into having sex with me. So let's get this straight before things go any further. You're my husband, not my slave. You do not need to ask my permission to do things, and you certainly don't need to apologize for everything you do. Got it?"

Allen shook his head, trying and failing to stop his tears. Kanda's words made sense, but he just couldn't wrap his head around what the samurai was telling him. Not when so many of the men he used to gamble with had treated their wives like property. The master-servant dynamic was the only side of marriage that he had ever seen before, and after having Cross further cement the inferiority of women into his brain, he just couldn't believe that there were other ways to do it.

Kanda clicked his tongue and flicked the Moyashi's ear. He was going to have to try a different approach. "Think of it this way. Last week, when I told you that Komui had a mission for us, you were worried that it was a ruse for ordering you to take care of the baby. Well, our marriage is that mission. We're partners working together towards the goal of having a healthy baby. I'm here to help and support you, not tell you what to do."

Understanding lit up Allen's face, but the look immediately turned to one of extreme embarrassment. Now that he finally understood that they were supposed to be equals, he just felt stupid for ever thinking otherwise. He should have known from the start that Kanda was never going to want to boss him around. "You'd think I'd know by now not to believe the things Master Cross taught me about relationships."


	13. Chapter 13

The next two weeks passed without much fanfare. Between Kanda's general's duties and Allen's missions, they really only saw each other when they went to bed at night and when they woke up in the morning with their bodies much closer together than Allen would have liked. They discussed sex a few more times, but those conversations went much the same as all their previous discussions on the subject had, and Allen was no closer to understanding that Kanda truly loved him and wanted more than just sex from him.

And after two more weeks of morning sickness, Allen was even more bitter towards his pregnancy than he was when he first found out about it. It certainly didn't help that Komui theorized that his severe vomiting was because he was an awakened Noah carrying an Innocence compatible child. And then came the news from Hevlaska that his inner Noah wanted his child to live, which would have been much less depressing news had it come before he had tried and failed at using his Noah powers to destroy the baby's Innocence. Overall, Allen was in a pretty foul mood.

Lenalee noticed her friend's bad mood quite easily, but she knew better than to ask what was causing it. Experience had taught her that Allen would only open up to her when _he_ was ready and not a moment before, no matter how much she pestered him. Besides, both of his last long missions had been with Kanda, and Allen always got irritable after spending so much time alone with the samurai. Sure, this was much worse than his usual irritability, but that was easily explained. Whatever was bothering him had clearly started around the same time as his mission with Kanda, and it was the combination of the two that put him in that foul mood. So even though he was so stressed out that he was literally making himself sick, she wasn't going to question him.

But on the other hand, Allen was wearing his gloves again.

It was just a little thing, but it really ticked Lenalee off. She had worked so hard to help him build up his self-confidence to the point where he didn't feel the need to hide his left hand anymore, and, with the exception of a few occasions where it truly was necessary, Allen hadn't worn gloves in almost three years. It really upset her to see him wearing them so religiously again. Especially since he knew full well that she didn't like it when he wore gloves, yet he continued to wear them even when they were alone. And they were out on a mission together, so they were alone quite frequently lately.

After three days, Lenalee had finally had enough and decided that it was time to talk to him about it directly. This was something that she could not ignore for a single second longer. "Take off your gloves, Allen. I don't know what happened to make you so self-conscious again, but I don't care about your left hand, and you are not going to hide it from me."

He blushed and stubbornly insisted that he wasn't trying to hide anything from her, yet his mannerisms gave him away, as he immediately hid his hands in his pockets. "You're wrong, Lenalee. I'm just cold. Nothing more."

Lenalee rolled her eyes at his excuse. "You're a pathetic liar, Allen. You've been wearing your gloves for weeks now. And I can see you sweating. Take off the gloves."

She caught his left wrist and pulled his hand from his pocket, mildly surprised that he wasn't actually resisting - he certainly had the strength to make her stop. Lenalee pulled off the glove, half expecting to see that he was trying to hide an injury, but instead, what she found was a healthy hand. With a gold band circling his fourth finger. Lenalee knew exactly what the ring meant and she was incredibly angry that she hadn't been informed of her best friend's marriage. It took her a minute to collect herself and not rip Allen's head off when she spoke next. "Since when do you wear a wedding ring?"

"Since I started wearing gloves again." She glared at him for the smart aleck answer, and under the force of her withering gaze, Allen found the truth slipping out. "We've been married for two weeks. I've been wearing my gloves to hide the ring, so that I don't have to tell anyone about it. I don't want to have to explain how I got pregnant and was forced into marrying the baby's father."

Lenalee may not have known the truth about male parasite-types, but she had seen enough weird things around the Order to not even bat an eye over learning that Allen was pregnant. In fact, male pregnancy didn't even make the list of the weirdest things she'd seen. And pregnancy definitely explained why Allen had been throwing up so much lately. Lenalee had also known for a long time now that Allen was gay - his lack of response to the way she'd thrown herself at him when he'd first joined the Order had made that painfully clear - so the fact that he was married to a man wasn't worth commenting on either. Instead, she jumped straight to concern for her best friend's wellbeing. "'Forced'? If you were married against your will, you should talk to my brother about it. I'm sure he could do something to help you."

Lenalee's unwavering faith in her brother made Allen more than a little depressed. Though in her defense, the man really had tried to find a loophole for him; it was Allen's own stubbornness that had landed him in his current position. "Komui's the one who married us, Lenalee. There's nothing he can do to help me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me a woman, even though I'm still male, and being a woman means that I have no say in any of this. I couldn't even choose for myself whether or not I kept the baby."

Before she could come up with a response to that, he went on. "I don't know how you do it, Lenalee. I've only legally been a girl for about three weeks, and it's awful. Women are basically second class citizens."

Lenalee definitely understood what he was saying, but she wasn't about to let him change the subject like that. "That's true, but you're getting off topic. I find it hard to believe that Komui would enforce the rules and make you marry someone when you're so obviously against it. Which must have something to do with whoever the father of your baby is. Whoever he is, either Komui's scared of him or-"

She cut off when Allen snorted in derision. "Komui's definitely scared of Kanda, but I doubt that has anything to do with-"

Lenalee practically squealed at the name Allen let slip. This was the juiciest piece of information that she had ever gotten her hands on, and her inner gossip was screaming to be let out. "Kanda?! _Kanda's_ the father of your baby?!"

Allen blushed and tried to squirm away, but Lenalee still had a firm grip on his hand, and she was not going to let go until her curiosity was satisfied. Collecting herself, she managed to loosen her death grip on his Innocence, though she still held on so that he couldn't run away. And once she was calm, she was able to prioritize her questions; while she desperately wanted to know how Allen and Kanda had ended up in bed together, she also knew that that was something that Allen wasn't going to share without a whole lot of prodding, so it was much better to keep the conversation focused on his marriage. "Ok, I won't ask how _that_ happened, since you're clearly not going to tell me, but can you fill in the blanks? I mean, if you and _Kanda_ got married over this, I'm clearly missing something important."

Allen looked away, not wanting to see the look on Lenalee's face when he answered her question. "Kanda wants the baby. Our marriage was his idea."

That revelation was even more unexpected than anything else that Lenalee had heard that afternoon. Kanda fathering Allen's baby was one thing, but the samurai actually wanting to raise his child was another matter entirely. She was under the impression that Kanda hated children even more than he hated adults. "Wait. What?"

But Allen wasn't listening to her questions anymore. He had opened the gate and all of his frustrations with his situation were flowing out - something that Kanda had been trying to get him to do for weeks; the samurai would be disappointed that the catharsis had happened without him, but he would mostly be relieved that Allen had finally opened up to someone about his feelings. "God, I hate him so much! He's the most selfish and aggravating person I have ever met! But Kanda says he loves me, and he's the baby's father, so I have no choice. No matter how much I don't want to, I have to carry his child, wear his ring, and sleep in his bed every night. This stupid pregnancy was an accident! I just wanted to get rid of it and forget this ever happened! But no! I-"

Having had enough of his ranting and having heard several things that concerned her greatly, Lenalee grabbed Allen's shoulders and shook them as she turned his body so that he was facing her again. "Allen. Look at me. Kanda's not actually forcing you to sleep in his bed, is he?"

Sensing her genuine concern, Allen answered the question honestly. As upset as he was with everything, that was still no reason to make Lenalee worry unnecessarily about him. Besides, lying would only make her confront Kanda, which would just come back to bite him in the end. "No. I'm free to sleep in my own bed if I want. But it doesn't matter either way. Whichever bed I sleep in, I still wake up with his arms wrapped around me. Sleeping in his bed just makes mornings less of a hassle since I don't have to listen to him chew me out for trying to avoid him."

Lenalee took a deep meditative breath to calm herself down. She was right - Allen was overreacting and Kanda wasn't actually trying to rape her best friend, but Allen had definitely had her worried there. And with that out of the way, there were other matters to attend to. "And Kanda has actually said out loud that he loves you and wants to be married you?"

Allen sighed bitterly. "Yes. But I know he doesn't really mean it. He's just overreacting because I'm pregnant with his baby. He only thinks that he's supposed to be with me because I'm carrying his child. He'll change his mind once the novelty has worn off."

Lenalee flicked his ear for that comment, successfully suppressing the urge to slap him for being stupid - physical violence wasn't good for her pregnant friend's health. She knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that if that demon samurai masquerading as a human had confessed love, he had meant it, and that was something that Allen should have known without her having to spell it out for him. "Allen. You're overlooking something."

He glared at her in return. "And what would that be?"

"Kanda's not a liar." When Allen just blinked stupidly at her, she elaborated. "If he says he loves you, he means it. You know that Kanda is blunt and brutally honest. He may say things just to mess with you, but this would never be one of them."

While he knew that she had a point, Allen was too stubborn and hormonal to admit to it. "But-!"

Lenalee placed a hand over his mouth to stop him from arguing with her. She almost let go once he fell silent, but she knew that he would try to interrupt what she was going to say next, and she wanted to prevent that from happening, so she left her hand in place even after his protests stopped. "Look, Allen, you're my best friend, but Kanda is basically my brother. I've known him for a long time; I owe my sanity to him, and I care for him deeply. I have to take his side on this. And what's best for _him_ is that you commit yourself to your marriage. He's opened up to you. Don't throw that trust away. And honestly, I think what you both need in order to finally find happiness is already growing inside you."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Today was a long, hard day. Hopefully you guys are doing better than I am. Enjoy the latest chapter.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Lenalee taking Kanda's side didn't piss Allen off as much as he thought it would. And she definitely had a point with that whole trust thing. Not that he would ever admit to that out loud. So long as he kept thoughts like that to himself, he could continue to live in denial.

Allen didn't react to the comment and returned to scowling petulantly at her, so Lenalee continued to talk. "I don't know that you know this, but Kanda once told me that out of everyone at the Order, he considers _you_ to be his best friend. Not Lavi, _you_. Granted, he complained and swore the entire time he said it, but he definitely meant it. He's cared about you for a while now, and I know you know _that_. After all, there's a war going on, and he's sworn his loyalty to you and your side."

Allen had been doing his best to not react to what Lenalee was telling him, something that was quite hard to do given that she was telling him that Kanda had cared for him long before he'd gotten pregnant, but that last bit was too much. Lenalee wasn't supposed to know that he and Kanda had joined Neah's side of the war - that was a secret that only Komui and General Teidoll had been let in on - yet she somehow also knew that Kanda had only changed sides to support him. It was something Allen had forgotten about in the chaos of learning he was pregnant, but now it was something he couldn't stop thinking about, and it conflicted with the bitterness and frustration he was feeling towards the samurai for knocking him up and forcing him to keep the baby.

Lenalee almost laughed at how Allen's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. The reaction was comical, but she was more relieved that he actually seemed to have heard what she'd said for a change; she was getting through to him. "I know I'm not supposed to know about that, but you can't really be surprised that Komui told me; he's incapable of keeping secrets from me. ...Anyway. Back on topic. Kanda's feelings for you are genuine, and you should not only let him love you, you should love him back."

When Allen glared sullenly at her for that suggestion - a look that she was not going to tell him he had picked up from his husband - Lenalee gently clasped his hands and proposed a compromise. "Look, just give it a month. One month. That's all I'm asking for. I know you think you want an abortion and a divorce, but just try being committed to your marriage for one month. I'm telling you, before the month's over, you'll not only be happier than you've ever been, but you'll be excited for your baby too."

Allen frowned in thought. That was a much more reasonable request than he'd been expecting from Lenalee, but he had one major problem with it. And it had nothing to do with his mixed up feelings. "That means having sex with him, doesn't it?"

"Obviously." Allen's reluctance to sleep with his husband was adorable. Lenalee was about to laugh at his pouting, but then a very different thought occurred to her. "Wait. If you two haven't had sex, how are you pregnant?"

Allen shrugged nonchalantly, trying to act like there wasn't something to tell so that Lenalee wouldn't pester him for the full story; though, with the way this conversation was going, she probably wasn't going to fall for it. "We were drugged."

Lenalee squeezed his hands tighter at the lack of information in that statement. The mention of drugs only made her more concerned about her friends - if such a thing were even possible. "How is that an answer?"

Allen scowled and pulled his hands from hers, finally having had enough of her mother hen side. "The sex wasn't consensual. We were forced into sleeping together, and that's when I got pregnant."

That was something that Lenalee wished she'd been told weeks ago, back when it happened, but now was not the time to lay into Allen for hiding things from her; that particular lecture could wait until he wasn't quite so irate. "Well, that certainly explains why you're so pissed off."

Allen snorted at that; it was definitely an understatement to say that he was pissed off, and the nonconsensual sex was far from the only thing about this that was pissing him off. "We found an Innocence fragment on our last mission together. It bonded to the baby. Which is yet another reason why I can't abort it."

"And another completely valid reason why you're pissed." Lenalee was horrified by the news that Allen's unborn baby was already an accommodator, but reliving her past traumas wasn't going to help either one of them, so she stayed focused on the subject at hand. "But I stand by what I said earlier. Kanda is your ally in this, not your enemy. You figured out how to be his friend back when you were on the run together. Now you just need to figure out how to love him."

Allen was both disappointed and angry that Lenalee hadn't fallen for his attempt to change the subject. "You're really not going to let me out of this, are you?"

"Nope." Lenalee laughed at the way his face fell. She threw her arm around his shoulders and tried to cheer him up. "It's not like you have to do anything hard, Allen. Return his kisses. Use his first name. Go to him when you need someone to talk to. He's already admitted to loving you. You have nothing to be afraid of."

He just continued to frown, so Lenalee changed tactics. "Just promise me that you'll try, Allen."

Allen sighed in resignation at the determination on her face; it was at times like this that it was painfully obvious that Lenalee was related to Komui. "One month?"

"Thirty days. Starting the first day you see him after we get home." They still had several days of their mission left after all, and there was no way of knowing if Kanda would even be at headquarters when they got home, and that was a loophole that Lenalee was not about to let Allen exploit.

Allen grit his teeth as he spat out his response. "Fine."

The dejected way Allen ground out the word was amusing, but Lenalee wasn't going to let him off that easily. "I want to hear you say the actual words."

Confused as to what the 'actual words' were, Allen frowned and said something he hoped would satisfy her. "I promise that I will try to act like I actually want to be married to that bas- ..." Nope, calling Kanda names was not going to be acceptable to Lenalee. "To Kanda."

"Good boy." Lenalee smiled and tousled his hair, making him pout even more. Then she smiled brightly and abruptly changed the subject. "Now, tell me about your baby."

Allen groaned in annoyance, but this was a - mildly - better topic than his marriage. "I'm only seven weeks in, Lena. There's not much to tell yet. I've got some pretty bad morning sickness, but the baby is perfectly healthy anyway."

Lenalee frowned at the bitterness in his voice. "Ok, new rule. When you're around Kanda, you also have to pretend that you want your baby."

"You can't just add on rules after the fact." Allen scowled angrily at her. "Besides, he's already made me promise that I _won't_ lie to him about my pregnancy. And I'm pretty sure that trumps you wanting me to lie to him."

There was no need to tell her that that promise had already expired, not when he was so certain that that portion of their earlier truce was something that Kanda was going to try to continue to enforce. Besides, if there was one thing that Allen knew about Kanda, it was that the man could somehow always tell when he was lying about his feelings. If he valued his life at all, he was not going to make a promise that required him to lie to the samurai's face, especially one that required him to lie about the man's child.

Lenalee sighed and conceded. "That's a fair point. You really should be being honest with him. But could you at least try being less hostile when you talk about the baby? You're never going to learn to love it if you're constantly telling everyone how much you hate it."

"Why not? It worked for Kanda." The comment had been sarcastic, but when Lenalee didn't get it, Allen found himself explaining, and in doing so, he discovered that he had an actual argument against what she had just told him. "For years, he's been telling everyone that he hates me, but now he's apparently madly in love with me. If he can do it that way, why can't I?"

That logic momentarily rendered Lenalee speechless, but she quickly came up with a retort. "Because you were willfully antagonizing him and deserved a lot of the bad things he was saying about you. Besides, _I_ don't like it when you talk about your baby that way, and if you want my help with your pregnancy symptoms, the shopping for baby stuff, babysitting, any of it, you're going to have to knock it off. Got it?"

The thought of being pregnant without Lenalee's support was terrifying. Not only was she his best friend, but she was also female, and therefore would know much more about pregnancy than he did. Doing this without her help was not an option. "Fine. I'll do my best to be civil towards the baby... when I'm in public or around you. But I'm not going to lie to Kanda, and I'm going to be as sour as I want to be when I'm alone. And if you start pestering me about things I don't want to talk about, you can forget the whole thing. Understood?"

.x.x.

A week later, the novelty of discovering that Allen was pregnant with Kanda's child had worn off, and several things were even clearer to Lenalee than they were before. She had examined all of Allen and Kanda's previous interactions with each other, and she was now positive that they had been falling in love with each other since they first met. She wouldn't get the confirmation of her theories until she talked to Neah a couple months later, but for now, the evidence she had gathered from her own memories was enough.

It had been four days since they had returned from their mission, which meant that Allen was four days into his promise to commit himself to his marriage, and she wanted to find out how things were going between the two of them. But she knew she shouldn't ask about it directly, or Allen would flip out at her for trying to keep tabs on him, which meant that she would have to be discreet about it. And in this case, that meant asking about something that Allen would never suspect her to ask about.

It was easy to get him alone, since he was understandably going out of his way to avoid being around people, and then all Lenalee had to do was ask her question. "How's the sex going?"

For a moment, Allen just stared at her with his eyes bugging out of his head, but then he scowled, crossing his arms over his chest in a gesture he hoped conveyed just how much he wanted to be left alone. "I wouldn't know. Now leave me alone."

The dismissal was quite puzzling to Lenalee. Allen had clearly meant that he hadn't slept with Kanda yet, and that was something that she found rather strange. After all, she was certain that Allen had been attracted to Kanda for years, and it was unthinkable to her that he wasn't sleeping with him now that they were married. "Unless I'm mistaken, you'd have done almost anything to have sex with Kanda just six months ago. So what changed? Why aren't you jumping at the chance to sleep with him now?"

Allen just snorted and blew off the question. He was in no mood to have her pry into his private life today. "I've already had sex with him, Lenalee. I'm pregnant, remember?"

While he'd meant for his hostility to scare her off, the simple statement actually told Lenalee quite a few of the details she had been missing. Namely, it told her that despite being drugged, Allen remembered the actual act of having sex with Kanda. And that combined with his hostility told her that he hadn't enjoyed the sex and had classified it as something he never wanted to do again. And that was just sad. "You do realize that sex now is going to be completely different from what it was like when you were drugged, right?"

As expected, Allen merely glared at her and didn't even try to answer the question. Some days his stubborn streak was endearing, but today was not one of them. Lenalee let out an exasperated sigh and debated giving in for now, but her inner romantic won out; Allen and Kanda belonged together, with their child, and she was going to do everything in her power to make Allen see that. "How many times did Kanda kiss you that night?"

It was such a random and unexpected question that it caught Allen off guard. His curiosity was piqued, and he found himself thinking back over that night. If he wanted to know where she was going with this, he'd have to give her an honest answer. "Depends on how you count it, but if you're asking what I think you're asking, once."

The number was lower than Lenalee anticipated, but it was still along the lines of what she was expecting to hear. "And how many times has he kissed you since you got married?"

"I don't know." His answer was intentionally glib, as the question had made him think that Lenalee was prying rather than making a point, but the stern look she was giving him made him feel like he had no choice but to elaborate. "He always kisses me before bed and first thing in the morning, so at least two dozen times. Probably more than that."

Lenalee nodded knowingly, trying to mask her surprise. While she was right in suspecting that Kanda was an affectionate husband, she had never dreamed that he would be that romantic. But she needed to stay on topic. "And knowing that, how many times is he going to kiss you when you finally let him sleep with you for real?"

Allen's face briefly lit up in understanding, but then it faded into a confused expression that made him look like a lost little kid. And that was when Lenalee remembered that he had been unconscious for days and spent a week in the infirmary following that mission. It wasn't just being intimate with Kanda that he was scared of. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she tried to be gentle as she set him straight. "Sex isn't supposed to hurt, Allen. It's supposed to make you feel good. You're not going to end up in the infirmary again, and if you do, I'll beat the shit out of him for you, ok?"


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: It's time for the first real lemon of this story!

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Despite Lenalee's assurances, Allen was still terrified of letting Kanda touch him. But between her pestering and Kanda's near constant attempts to instigate sex, he was reaching the end of his rope. So, for the sake of his sanity, he decided that it was time to just do it and get it over with. He had spent much more time worrying about sex than the actual act would take, so even though his heart wasn't necessarily in it, he was going to go through with it. Maybe if Kanda finally fucked him, the samurai would leave him alone for a while.

Allen had no clue how to actually tell Kanda that he was ready for sex, at least, not without admitting that he was only doing it to get it over with - something that was sure to upset the samurai and cause yet another long drawn out discussion. So he had to come up with a different way to go about it, and he was at a complete loss for what that might be.

But as he climbed in bed with his husband that night, he suddenly knew exactly what to do. Kanda always kissed him goodnight, so it shouldn't be too difficult to deepen that kiss and instigate things that way. Except life had other plans.

Kanda could tell that something was on Allen's mind; the boy was much more distracted than he usually was. And given that Lenalee had laid into him earlier that morning for not telling her that he'd married Allen, it wasn't hard to guess what was bothering the Moyashi. So he decided to give him the night off. He was not going to try to convince Allen to sleep with him that night. Once they were both settled under the covers, he turned out the lamp and rolled over without saying anything to the Moyashi first.

Allen could only blink at the samurai's back in confusion. He didn't understand why Kanda had suddenly broken that tradition or why the lack of a goodnight kiss had made him feel so lonely. "You're not going to kiss me?"

The question caught Kanda by surprise. His chest hurt from the rush of hope that welled up inside him at the thought that Allen actually liked their bedtime routine and might finally be warming up to him. He rolled back over and tried to study the Moyashi's expression. "Do you want me to?"

"Yes." Allen wasn't sure what he actually wanted and had only said that so he could proceed with his plan, but when Kanda's lips met his and that lonely feeling disappeared, he didn't regret that choice.

This time it was Kanda's turn to be caught by surprise. He pressed the usual chaste kiss to Allen's lips, expecting the Moyashi to be as unresponsive as always, but instead, those beautiful coral lips moved. Allen was kissing him back. He knew he might regret his next move, as it would probably scare the boy off, but he was so happy that he just couldn't help himself - he'd been waiting for over a month to get that reaction out of the Moyashi. He slid a hand into Allen's white hair, tangling his fingers into the soft strands, and then he pressed his tongue into the boy's mouth. He focused on savoring what was sure to be a brief taste, but it was time for another surprise. Allen wasn't pushing him away, he was pulling him in. The boy's arms were around his waist, guiding their bodies closer together as his mouth grew less hesitant in echoing Kanda's movements.

Kanda was both thrilled and terrified by the Moyashi's actions. It was entirely possible that the little trickster was up to something, but at the same time, he wanted this to happen so badly that he didn't think he cared that the Moyashi might be messing with him.

When they finally broke apart for air, Allen was panting heavily, but he made no move to end the making out, so Kanda reclaimed his lips, attacking him with more ferocity, encouraged by the fact that the Moyashi wasn't resisting. And the longer they kissed, the more he convinced himself that Allen truly wanted to have sex with him. After all, the bulge pressing against his thigh was definitely getting harder.

Allen was scared of the fact that he was enjoying what was happening. His plan had been to simply go along with whatever Kanda wanted to do to him, but he hadn't anticipated liking any of those things. It terrified him to think that he got pleasure from being touched by Kanda, mostly because that would mean that Lenalee and Kanda were right about him being attracted to the samurai, and he still very stubbornly refused to admit to that fact. But the way Kanda's hand was caressing his head and the way those slightly chapped lips attacked his with an almost bruising force gave him an undeniable sense of pleasure.

Stressed out by his inner turmoil, Allen snapped when Kanda suddenly made a move for his waistband. He forgot all about the fact that he had decided to see this through to the end and gave in to his doubts and self-consciousness. He jerked away from the kiss and shoved Kanda's hands away.

The reaction confused Kanda. "I thought you wanted this, Moyashi."

In his panic, Allen found the truth spilling out. "Not if this is all just a ploy so that you can see me naked again and make fun of me."

Kanda wanted to know where the Moyashi got the idea that he wanted to tease him, but he was much more concerned by the self-loathing that was hidden in the comment. "Why would I make fun of you for being naked?"

The answer to that question was hard to say out loud, but it was easier to say it than to let Kanda discover it by seeing it. "Because I'm ... inadequate."

It didn't take Kanda long at all to figure out what the Moyashi was referring to, and it shocked him that Allen was being so self-conscious because he thought his penis was small. After all, he had seen the boy naked before and found him to be just the right size. "You're not inadequate. You're perfect."

Allen scoffed at that. "You don't really mean that. You'd say anything to get sex from me."

The accusation earned him a flicked ear. "We've been married for four weeks. If I was any good at convincing you to have sex, we'd have slept together already."

Allen snickered at the comment, and Kanda quickly took advantage of his distraction and pulled his pants off his hips. The revealed cock looked exactly the same as it did in his memories, making him even more confused as to why the Moyashi thought he was small.

The moment Allen realized that his length was exposed, he covered himself with his hands, causing Kanda to groan in annoyance. "Come on, Moyashi. It's been in my mouth. Do you really think I have a problem with it?"

Allen faltered under that logic. "I guess not, but it's still... you know..."

Kanda rolled his eyes at that. "You're only seventeen, you-"

"I'm _twenty_."

At the correction, Kanda rolled his eyes once more. "Not for two more months. And that's not what I was talking about. Your body is seventeen, so you have a seventeen-year-old's penis. And I happen to think that it suits you. It's the perfect size for your frame. It may not be anything impressive compared to whoever it is that you're comparing it to, but considering that you're five-ten and a hundred pounds soaking wet, it's actually a pretty decent size."

Allen turned beet red and hissed in embarrassment. "Don't say things like that!"

Seeing that he was getting nowhere, Kanda decided to try a new tactic. If there was anyone out there who could understand what the Moyashi was going through, it was Kanda himself, and it was time to remind him just how much they had in common. "Look. Your body's stuck at seventeen. So what? Mine's stuck at nineteen. I'm not any more developed than you are."

Kanda was expecting Allen to blush and argue with him, but what he got instead was a resigned sigh. "Right. I forgot that you were immortal like me." After a pause, he tacked on, "That certainly gives a whole new meaning to 'till death do us part'."

Not knowing what else to do, Kanda just rolled his eyes at the comment. "I don't know how many times I've told you this, but I guess I have to say it again. We're not immortal, Moyashi."

Like always, Allen just shrugged off the reminder. "Komui says we are."

"No, Komui says we _might_ be. We're going to have to live a hell of a lot longer before we know anything for certain. Now stop trying to change the subject." After giving Allen a very pointed look, Kanda continued with his original subject. "The point was that I'm stuck as a teenager too. I may not understand why you're so self-conscious about that fact, but I do understand what it's like. Doesn't that earn me at least a little trust?"

When Allen didn't respond right away, Kanda decided that he had had enough. He was tired of having his chances for sex thwarted by the Moyashi being overly emotional. There was no point in dragging this conversation on any longer if it was just going to go the same way as their previous discussions. "Do you want to have sex or not, Moyashi?"

"...Yes." It wasn't entirely true, but Allen was still determined to do it and get it over with.

"Then shut up and stop fighting me." Following the command, Kanda captured Allen's lips once again.

Allen resisted the kiss at first, but once he understood Kanda's unspoken point, he gave in. Their conversation had gone on for far too long, and it was time to either have sex or go to sleep. And Allen could almost kick himself for that; he had decided to go through with this because he was tired of talking about it, but when the moment came, he had only delayed it with more talking. So he decided to stop thinking and give in.

The moment Kanda felt Allen's lips start to move with the kiss, he rolled them over so that the Moyashi was on his back and he was kneeling over the boy. He focused all of his attention on the kiss, plundering the boy's mouth with his tongue and reveling in his unique taste. Kanda wasn't a fan of sweet things, but he could definitely make an exception for Allen. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of making out with the Moyashi.

As much as he enjoyed kissing, Kanda was ready for more. However, he knew that Allen wasn't there yet, so he continued with his assault on the Moyashi's mouth, waiting for Allen to relax and give in a little bit more. He knew the time was right when Allen's fingers began scrabbling against his head. The Moyashi was clearly trying to reach his hair tie, forgetting that the samurai had already gotten ready for bed and the ponytail was tied at the base of his skull rather than high like he wore it during the day. It was amusing, but it meant that Allen was ready for more.

Breaking the kiss, Kanda trailed his tongue over to the base of Allen's jaw, using the way the boy quivered as a gauge to find a sensitive spot. And once he found that spot, he nipped and sucked at it unrelentingly, loving the way the Moyashi whimpered and moaned in pleasure. The boy had been relatively silent thus far, but under the force of the hickey, he became quite vocal. The cries were embarrassing, but he couldn't hold them back; what Kanda was doing to him felt too good.

Kanda finally let go once the spot was bright red, hoping that the mark would last for a few days. He turned his attention lower, but the Moyashi's torso was still covered by his shirt, so he went even lower, pleased that Allen's length was no longer flaccid. He briefly debated teasing the Moyashi by playing with his shaft, but after what happened earlier, it was best to save that for another time. Gripping the hem of Allen's shirt, Kanda yanked it upward, intentionally getting him tangled in it to distract him. While Allen worked his way out of his shirt, Kanda attacked his chest, scraping his teeth against one of his pert nipples and making Allen scream.

Escaping from his sleep shirt was hard when Kanda was sucking on his nipple and making his whole body writhe in pleasure, but Allen managed to do it. He had somehow even managed to kick his pants the rest of the way off in the process, though that was probably from all the squirming he was doing. Now completely naked, he almost gave in to those same self-conscious feelings that had halted things earlier, but he pushed them aside in favor of powering through; it certainly helped that Kanda hadn't faltered in his ministrations and Allen's thoughts were hazy with pleasure.

Unsure of what to do next, and not wanting to just lay there and let Kanda be completely in control, Allen reached out for Kanda's shirt, barely succeeding at taking hold of the fabric. He tried to tug the garment upward, but failed miserably when Kanda gave his nipple a particularly strong suck. But to his surprise, Kanda responded to the feeble tug, releasing Allen's chest and sitting up to pull off his shirt.

The moment Kanda slipped off his shirt, any reluctance for sex that Allen might have had left vanished completely. With all of his worrying about intimacy and feelings, Allen had forgotten just how perfect Kanda's body was. And seeing that bare chest now, with its perfectly toned muscles and flawless skin, he could only think about seeing the rest of his husband's body naked. Of course, once he admitted to himself that he not only found Kanda attractive, but had thought of the samurai like that for quite a while, Allen found himself wondering why he had put off the sex for so long.

There was no time to think about that at the moment however. Once Kanda's shirt was tossed aside, he was kneeling back over the Moyashi, leaving another hickey on the boy's neck. Allen moaned, and now that he was much more interested in what they were doing, he began to buck his hips with purpose, rather than just letting his body do whatever it felt like. He pressed his groin feverishly against Kanda's, desperately trying to increase the friction between them.

Allen whined at the feeling of loss that filled him when Kanda pulled away and climbed off the bed, but as he watched the samurai remove his pants, he knew that the distance was worth it. Kanda's lower body was just as perfect as his torso was. Kanda rooted through the bedside table and gave the fingers of his right hand a liberal coating of lubricant before he returned to the bed, very aware of the fact that the Moyashi was watching his every move and drooling as he did so.

Kneeling between Allen's legs, Kanda used his dry hand to hook one of those long slender limbs over his shoulder. Finding the Moyashi's hole, Kanda slipped one of his lubricated fingers inside. Allen grunted and narrowed his eyes in confusion at the intrusion, not understanding what was going on, but he kept his questions to himself. However, when all Kanda did next was shove another finger inside him, Allen couldn't keep quiet any longer. "What do you think you're doing with your fingers?"

"Stretching you." Kanda's sarcasm faded when he actually processed the confusion on the Moyashi's face. His tone may have been offended, but the question was genuine. Allen really didn't know that his hole needed to be stretched. "If I stretch you with my fingers, it'll loosen up the muscles so that it won't hurt when I take you. You'll probably be a little sore in the morning, but you won't bleed or end up unable to walk like last time."

"Oh."

Allen blushed in embarrassment, but when he closed his eyes to fight back the tears, he found Kanda's lips on his. He reopened his eyes to find a gentle expression on the samurai's face. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Moyashi. You didn't know. Just forget about it and move on."

Kanda pressed another kiss to Allen's lips, this one fierce and passionate rather than chaste in order to build the heat back up between them. When the Moyashi relaxed and began to return the kiss, Kanda resumed moving his fingers, scissoring and stretching the passage as he searched for that one spot that he knew would make Allen fully give in. He knew he found it when the Moyashi suddenly froze before he practically convulsed with pleasure.

Though he was tempted to continue to tease the spot until the Moyashi came undone, Kanda knew that it was more important to make sure that he was properly stretched. If he ever wanted to have sex with Allen again after this, he needed to make sure that this time was as different from the last as possible; if the Moyashi ended up hurt in any way, he was not going to let Kanda touch him ever again.

So Kanda focused on getting the Moyashi as loose as possible, only occasionally brushing against that spot whenever Allen got too tense. And once Allen's hole was ready, Kanda pulled out his fingers and adjusted his position between the boy's legs. He pushed his length as gently into the waiting hole as he could, which didn't seem gentle at all, with how long he'd ignored his own need.

Allen grunted at the intrusion of Kanda's cock into his passage, but he managed to hold back the urge to fight against it, knowing that that would only make it hurt more. When Kanda was fully sheathed inside him, Allen expected the samurai to start moving right away, but instead, Kanda held completely still. He was giving the Moyashi time to relax and get used to his size, but Allen didn't know that and just stared at him in confusion, wondering why things had suddenly stopped.

The blank look on Allen's face was adorable, and that was a dangerous thing when Kanda was working so hard to hold himself back. So when the moment had stretched on for too long, he had to give the boy some prompting. "Just tell me when you're ready, Moyashi."

"I'm ready."

The hint of tears in the Moyashi's silver eyes contradicted the words. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"Oh." Suddenly understanding, Allen smiled and blinked away his tears. "Yeah, I'm sure. It's just uncomfortable. It doesn't hurt anymore."

That smile was beautiful and genuine, so even though he didn't really believe the words, Kanda gave in. He slid his length almost all the way out of the Moyashi before thrusting it back in. The action was rewarded with a grunt and a look of complete and utter surprise, and the way Allen's jaw had gone slack told him that the boy hadn't expected that to feel good. After a few more experimental thrusts, Kanda began to pick up speed, enjoying the friction of the Moyashi's tight hot walls against his shaft. He was no longer worried about hurting the boy, not when Allen was crying out with pleasure with each thrust and literally begging for more, which meant that he could finally focus on his own needs.

And once Allen figured out that he didn't have to just lay there and take it, that moving his body increased not only his own pleasure but Kanda's as well, he began bucking his hips to match the rhythm the samurai had set. Sweat-slicked bodies moved in unison, building up the heat and tension between them. All was silent save for the sounds of bedsprings squeaking and heavy breathing that filled the air.

But then one of Kanda's thrusts hit Allen's prostate and it was all over. Having that sensitive spot rammed dead on filled Allen's already overheated body with so much pleasure that he immediately came undone, screaming and releasing his load all over his stomach. The Moyashi came without warning, and the delicious way he cried out combined with the unexpected spasming of his passage pushed Kanda to the edge. He found himself releasing inside Allen much sooner than he would have liked, but the pleasure he felt silenced his pride, allowing him to enjoy the fact that he had finally had consensual sex with his Moyashi.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows; they mean a lot!

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~16 Months Earlier: June 6th~

It started as a nice day for Kanda. An early breakfast in the cafeteria without any of his so-called friends around, followed by a mission so simple that he was back by lunchtime, allowing him to spend the afternoon doing things that he actually wanted to do. Things seemed to have gone his way for a change, which would be nothing short of a miracle given what the day's date was. But Kanda knew it wouldn't last.

It was his twenty-first birthday after all, and Lavi had certainly made sure that everyone knew that. So even though the redhead himself happened to be out on a mission and nowhere near headquarters, that didn't mean that Kanda was safe. He was almost considering hiding out somewhere until the day was over.

And that was when General Teidoll had to go and show up.

While Kanda was grateful to his former teacher for everything he'd done back when Allen had been on the run from the Order - they definitely wouldn't have been welcomed back without his help - interacting with the man was still something he hated having to do. Teidoll was as overbearing and paternal as ever, and while they were both generals now, the old artist tended to ignore that fact. Sure there were some days where Teidoll actually managed to treat Kanda like an equal, but today was not going to be one of them. The old artist had been gone for several months after all, something that guaranteed in and of itself that Teidoll would be a mess of happy tears over seeing his son, and the fact that it was Kanda's birthday would only make it worse.

Kanda made no move to get up from his spot when Teidoll walked into the room. He wanted to run away, but experience had taught him just how futile that was. It was much easier in the long run to stay where he was and let Teidoll fawn over him and get it out of his system.

Like always, the old artist burst into tears the moment he saw him, but to Kanda's relief, he kept his distance rather than invading his personal space and wrapping him in an uncomfortably tight hug. Though his relief was short lived, as he would have much preferred the hug to the conversation Teidoll started. "It's so good to see you, Yuu! Happy birthday! You've gotten so tall since- Wait. No, you haven't. You're still barely taller than me, but you should be quite a few inches taller by now. In fact, you look exactly the same as you did the last time I saw you. And that was at Christmas. How can you not have changed at all in the last six months?"

While Teidoll had always had an uncanny knack of knowing exactly what to say to make Kanda uncomfortable, this was a little too on the nose. Kanda had been noticing the signs that he had stopped aging for months now, and it was beginning to get to him. Having someone else notice it too meant that it definitely wasn't his imagination, and that was incredibly stressful.

It had started with little things at first, like noticing that he'd suddenly stopped growing taller, things that could have easily been explained by him simply having reached the point where he was done growing, but it was the razor that Lavi had jokingly given him for Christmas that had really cemented the realization that he wasn't getting older into his head; he should have been shaving by now, but he didn't even have any stubble. It had worried him at first, wondering why he'd stopped aging before he was done growing, but the answer to why it had happened was so glaringly obvious that it pissed him off instead. His body was artificial. This was the Second Exorcist Project fucking with his life again.

And the last person he wanted to talk with about any of this was Teidoll.

Not only was the old man going to be sentimental and overbearing like he always was, but Kanda was pretty certain that Teidoll knew absolutely nothing about the project that had screwed up his life. And that was a conversation that he did not want to have. Ever. As awkward as it was to have had Allen literally flung into his memories, that was still preferable to having to actually tell someone about it.

So Kanda snorted in derision, trying to act like nothing was wrong and hoping that that would throw Teidoll off the scent. "That's just your imagination, old man. You're being overly sentimental. As usual."

Teidoll fixed Kanda with a stern glare. "Don't take that tone with me, young man. I may be getting up there in years, but I am far from senile. I know what I saw. Your hair may be longer, but the rest of you definitely hasn't changed."

Cursing internally, Kanda stuck with trying to convince Teidoll that he was seeing things. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't noticed anything like that. Are you sure that you're not mistaken?"

The denial only confirmed for Teidoll that Kanda was lying to him. "Yuu. Don't lie to your father."

Kanda tried to interrupt him, to let him know that someone else had come into the room, but Teidoll talked over him, assuming that the samurai was simply going to deny that he was his father. "I'm an artist. I have an eye for details, and I can tell that you haven't aged a single day in the entire time I've been gone, so-"

The sentence came to an abrupt end when Teidoll finally realized that they weren't alone in the room. Miranda had giggled nervously at walking in on such a serious conversation, and it was that noise that had made Teidoll notice that there were others around. Marie and Miranda were hovering awkwardly in the doorway, and standing next to them, trying to pretend he hadn't heard anything, was Allen Walker.

Teidoll smiled at them and offered them greetings, but he froze when he got to Allen. Much like Kanda, that boy hadn't aged a day since Teidoll had last seen him. Allen was supposed to be eighteen, but he still looked as scrawny as ever. And that was confusing. How was it possible that both of them hadn't changed? "I owe you an apology, Yuu. You were right; it must have been my imagination. I guess I'm not as good at gauging people's ages as I thought. Not only have you not gotten older, but it doesn't look like Allen has either. And if he hasn't changed-"

To everyone's surprise, it was Miranda who chimed in and cut off Teidoll's babbling. "Actually, now that you mention it..."

She laughed nervously when all eyes turned on her, but she still managed to stammer out what she was thinking. "I've only just noticed it, but I think it's true, Allen hasn't gotten any older in a while."

"Really?" Teidoll practically jumped with joy at having someone else confirm what his eyes had seen. He desperately wanted to prove that he was right about this. "Are you sure? Is he really not aging?"

Allen sighed inwardly when the focus turned on him, feeling very uncomfortable as they all scrutinized his appearance. He was painfully aware of the fact that he'd stopped aging, and he knew exactly when it had happened and why. He had been avoiding the subject for as long as he possibly could, knowing that talking about it was going to be a major headache. But Allen didn't let any of his frustrations show on his face. He rolled his eyes and replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm. "I wonder why that could be."

At the blank looks the others gave him, he sighed and closed his eyes. As he did so, his pale skin morphed to an eerie shade of charcoal gray and his formerly bright red scar darkened until it was pitch black. And though the others couldn't see them behind his bangs, the stigmata marking him as a Noah rose to the surface. When he opened his eyes again, his right iris burned gold.

The transformation silenced everyone in the room; even Marie, who could still sense it even though he hadn't seen it. Kanda was the first to speak, as he'd seen the Moyashi like that countless times and had grown somewhat used to it. He greatly disliked Allen's Noah form, as it was hard seeing an ally take on the appearance of their greatest enemy, but it was something else that bothered him more. The fact that Allen's left eye didn't turn gold with his transformation really creeped Kanda out. Seeing the Moyashi with one silver eye and one gold eye made his skin crawl. "Don't do that, Moyashi. It's creepy."

Allen smirked darkly at the samurai before letting his skin fade back to its usual pale ivory. He flashed a brilliant fake smile at the others in the room that irritated Kanda just as much as the Noah transformation had. "I stopped aging when my Noah awakened. Just like all the others did."

The statement made the others incredibly uncomfortable, so they immediately changed the subject. While they talked about the weather and their latest missions, Kanda let himself fade into the background and took the first opportunity he could to escape.

Allen could tell that the whole not aging thing was bothering Kanda, and he was pretty sure that he knew why, so he followed after Kanda when the samurai wandered off. It didn't take long at all to catch up to him. "The Second Exorcist Project?"

Kanda very nearly froze up at the question, but then he recalled that the Moyashi was one of the few people who actually knew about that, so he was able to calm himself out of a panic attack. He didn't often feel like he needed to be emotionally honest with Allen, but this was definitely the exception; the Moyashi was the one person he could trust completely when it came to the Second Exorcist Project. "Obviously."

Surprisingly, the Moyashi didn't press for details. Allen simply smiled disarmingly at him before heading down the hall. "If you decide you want to talk, you know where to find me."

Wanting to mask just how arousing that action was, Kanda faked disgust. He was not going to admit, even to himself, that the Moyashi was attractive when he was being a tease. "Why on earth would I ever talk to _you_?"

Allen laughed darkly and spoke without turning around, but Kanda could still tell that his skin had turned grey and his right eye was blazing gold. That laugh was a dead giveaway that he had let his inner Noah out. "Because unlike everyone else, I actually know firsthand what you're feeling right now. And if you can't talk to a fellow immortal, who can you talk to?"

Kanda snorted at that, knowing that even if he was no longer aging, he was far from immortal. He also knew, better than anyone else did, that it actually was possible to kill a Noah, so it was quite ridiculous that Allen had chosen to refer to himself that way. And it was much safer to focus on that than on the fact that the Moyashi was offering to be his confidante. "Noah aren't immortal, Baka Moyashi."

The comment didn't faze Allen in the slightest, proving that the brat was much too optimistic for his own good. "If we win this war, I might be."

"Good luck with that." Having had enough of the Moyashi's childish ridiculousness, Kanda rolled his eyes before he turned and walked away.

Kanda wasn't heading anywhere in particular, just going in the opposite direction of that idiot bean sprout to put as much distance between them as possible before he lost his temper and punched the brat, as starting a fight while Teidoll was around was a headache that he didn't want to deal with. He certainly hadn't intended to head towards the science division, but that was where his feet were taking him. And once he'd cooled down and taken in his surroundings, Kanda continued on in the same direction he had been unintentionally going. It was time to go see Komui. He had been avoiding talking to the psychotic supervisor about this, but after everything that had happened that afternoon, he needed to go through with that annoyance for his own peace of mind.

Komui was all too happy to drop everything and do every test he could think of on Kanda. He would do practically anything to escape from the mountain of paperwork in his office, and this was actually something interesting, so there was no question as to whether or not he'd do it. Which, unfortunately for Kanda, meant having an exam that should have only taken half an hour last well over three.

Most of the tests revealed things that Kanda had already deduced for himself, but there was one thing in particular that caught him by surprise. It wasn't the Second Exorcist Project that had caused his growth to suddenly halt. At least, not by itself. Kanda had stopped aging the day his Innocence crystallized. The act of bonding further with Mugen by allowing it to literally reforge itself using his blood had interacted with his artificial body in such a way that it had caused his body to become frozen in that moment of time. Komui had even been able to conclude that although his healing powers had been weakened, using them was no longer draining his life force. If Kanda managed to survive the war, he would probably live for a very long time; he could, for all intents and purposes, be immortal.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: As always, thanks for the reads, reviews, favorites, and follows! We're back to the present and it's time for Allen to make an important decision...

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~Present Day~

Allen was oddly content as he lay naked on Kanda's bed with the samurai at his side. They were both breathing heavily, their bodies were soaked in sweat, and the fluids that covered Allen's stomach and leaked out of his hole were uncomfortable and sticky, but overall, he was feeling pretty good. Sex had been everything he had been told it would be, and nothing like his hazy memories of that day in the forest. He was almost embarrassed that he'd been so reluctant to give his body to Kanda, but he felt too good to dwell on that.

And it wasn't the high of orgasm that made him feel that way.

Allen had undeniable proof that Kanda's feelings for him were genuine. And that felt better than any orgasm ever could.

At the height of his climax, Kanda had screamed out a name. But it wasn't the name of a previous lover like Allen had expected. Instead, it was Allen's own name. And not his real name, though that probably would have been touching. No, as he came, Kanda had cried out, "Moyashi!"

While it had initially pissed Allen off to be called that during sex, he had quickly realized that that was actually a very touching thing.

Several times over the last few weeks, Kanda had claimed that his feelings had started the moment they met. It was a claim that Allen didn't even sort of believe, but that had changed now. After what had just happened between them, Allen knew without a doubt that Kanda genuinely loved him and had been falling for him long before he got pregnant. And it was all because of that nickname.

Allen had hated his nickname from the moment the samurai had given it to him. Being constantly called a bean sprout was horrible and degrading, and he had always felt like Kanda was looking down on him whenever he said it. He had thought that the nickname would go away now that they were together, figuring that Kanda would no longer need to degrade him if they were married, but if anything, Kanda had only been calling him "Moyashi" more frequently than before. It irritated him, but after what had just happened, he realized that he'd been interpreting it wrong from the beginning.

"Moyashi" wasn't meant to be demeaning. It was meant to be sweet. It was a nickname given to a lover rather than a rival. Whenever Kanda called him "Moyashi", he wasn't saying that he was short and insignificant, he was saying that he was precious, important, something to be treasured. That horrible insult was actually a term of endearment.

All that was left was to see if Kanda would confirm his suspicions. While Allen was pretty sure that he was right and felt like he was one step closer to the impossible goal of understanding the samurai, he was curious as to whether or not the man would be honest when asked directly about his feelings. "Hey, Kanda? What does 'Moyashi' mean?"

Kanda chuckled at the unexpected question. Of all the things Allen could have said immediately after sex, that was way out there. The Moyashi really was an idiot if he had forgotten _that_. "Didn't we cover this years ago?"

Allen couldn't tell if the question was genuine or if it was an attempt at steering the conversation in a different direction, so he pressed. "Not the actual word, Bakanda. The nickname. What were you thinking when you first called me that?"

And when Kanda's reaction was to sigh and hold him closer, Allen knew that the words that followed were the truth. Kanda didn't have many tells, but he tended to tense up ever so slightly when he was telling the truth about his feelings, and the lack of distance between their naked bodies made it easy for Allen to pick up on that change. "I was thinking that you'd probably kill me if I called you 'adorable' to your face."

Allen almost laughed at just how true that statement was, but Kanda wasn't done. "And I didn't want to admit to myself that I found you attractive, so I came up with a word to describe you that I thought would help me convince myself that you weren't worth pursuing. It didn't work. Obviously."

Following the declaration, silence fell between them once more. For Kanda, it was a comfortable silence, treasuring a rare moment when the Moyashi was at his side without protesting being touched or crying his eyes out about something. But for Allen, the silence was quite uncomfortable. Kanda's last words had only further confirmed that the man's feelings were genuine, which meant that Allen had a very important decision to make. The choice he made in this moment would change the entire course of his life.

Having made up his mind, Allen broke the silence with a heavy sigh. "So this really is what you want. You want me to bear your child and live the rest of my life at your side."

The hint of bitterness in Allen's voice made Kanda feel guilty. As much as he wanted their marriage and unborn baby, he felt horrible that the Moyashi had had very little choice in the matter. He wanted Allen to love him back, not resent him. "It is. I'm so-"

The apology was cut off before he ever got the words out. Though if Allen had known that that was what the samurai was about to say, he would have let him finish his thought. As it was, Allen had no clue that Kanda was willing to apologize to him, so he kept the conversation moving forward. He had made his decision and now he needed to see it through. "Then I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to make the best of this situation. I don't want to be pregnant and I don't want to be married to you, but what's done is done. I'm just going to have to learn to love you both. I don't know that I'll ever return your feelings - there's definitely a part of me that hates you - but I _can_ accept them."

Kanda hated the way those words made his heart leap. He needed to know what exactly the Moyashi meant by that statement before he allowed himself to feel hopeful or he'd just end up getting hurt. "I don't know what that means, Moyashi."

"I don't know either. I'm still working on that." Allen let out a heavy sigh and rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. He began to speak his thoughts out loud, hoping that the answer would come to him. "You've said something to me quite a few times in the past couple weeks, and I've wanted so badly for someone to say that to me that if it were anyone but you who had said it, I would have said it back in a heartbeat. I am so desperate to be loved that I would have reciprocated their feelings without putting any thought into it whatsoever. Even if I knew that they didn't really mean it. But I know you mean it. I know that you genuinely love me, yet the best I can muster up is apathy. I-"

Kanda placed a hand over Allen's mouth to make him stop talking. The things the Moyashi was saying were simultaneously making him hopeful and making his heart ache. The scars of his childhood at the circus were clearly deeper than the happy memories of his childhood in his previous life, and Kanda wanted nothing more than to make Allen forget that he'd ever been an orphan. But now was not the time for that conversation. "I love hearing you speak so honestly about your feelings, Moyashi, but it's late and you're rambling. I just want a concise answer so that we can go to sleep. What do you mean when you say that you're going to accept my feelings for you?"

Allen frowned in thought and let Kanda pull him back into an embrace. After a moment, he sighed heavily. "I guess it means exactly what it sounds like it means. I know your feelings for me are genuine, but I still have trouble believing that you really do love me, so I'm going to do my very best to stop fighting against you."

Sensing that Kanda still didn't understand and was about to cut him off again, Allen tried a different approach. "I guess what I'm saying is that if things continue like they have been, I can see myself staying married to you after I have the baby."

Kanda froze. That was not at all what he was expecting to hear, and he very nearly pounced on Allen for it. It was only his disbelief that kept him in place. "You're giving up on your plans to divorce me?"

Allen let out a resigned sigh. "Yeah. I guess I am."

Before he could say anything more, Kanda was suddenly kneeling over him, plundering his mouth with a deep kiss. Allen was struggling to breathe by the time Kanda let go, but that didn't deter him from moving lower. He added several more hickeys to the Moyashi's already marked neck, and through the haze of pleasure that was starting to overtake him, Allen was thankful that the samurai was making sure to stay low enough that the marks would be hidden by his shirt. Allen wasn't sure that he wanted another round of sex so soon after the last, but that was clearly what Kanda was after, and he really should have known that his words would have that effect on his husband, so he didn't bother trying to stop it.

Kanda worked his way down Allen's chest, marking as much of the pale flesh as he could, while simultaneously loving his scars and wishing that the skin were flawless. He didn't stop his ministrations until he reached the mess left by their previous round, and though he liked the idea of using his tongue to clean up the Moyashi's stomach, he found the thought of getting semen in his mouth disgusting, so he passed over the mess and focused his attention on Allen's legs; an intimate action like that could wait until they were both more comfortable with each other.

The feeling of Kanda's lips and teeth on the sensitive flesh on the inside of his thigh made Allen squirm even more than he already was. It was both pleasurable and painful, and he couldn't take it and tried to pull away. But Kanda had him pinned down, making the halfhearted attempt to escape futile. Of course, trying to get away only made Kanda give the spot more attention, and by the time the samurai finally let go, Allen didn't think he could take any more. All of his muscles were tense and his entire body felt like it was overheating. But even though Kanda was satisfied with that particular mark, he wasn't done yet and moved on to a similar spot on the other leg.

Allen moaned and writhed under the touch, not realizing that trying to get away was only increasing the friction that was driving him crazy or that the noises he was making were only spurring Kanda on. He tried to make his hands move, but his brain was too fuzzy and they just continued to lie limply at his sides. And when Kanda suddenly changed targets, attacking his balls rather than his thigh, Allen came completely undone, his whole body shuddering as he reached orgasm.

Kanda smirked to himself as the Moyashi came, but he didn't stop what he was doing until he had left a vivid red hickey on that very intimate spot. While he didn't doubt that Allen was going to be completely faithful to him, the brat would be far too embarrassed by the marks to even think of sleeping with someone else, which would only further guarantee his fidelity. The hickeys would also, hopefully, remind Allen that he was loved and get him to loosen up a little.

But now wasn't really the time for thinking of those things.

While Allen was still distracted by his orgasm, Kanda adjusted his position between those spread legs and pushed his length into the waiting hole. The feeling of being inside his Moyashi was absolutely amazing, and Kanda reveled in both the tight heat that surrounded his shaft and the physical closeness of the one person that he had always been able to completely trust.

The moment Allen returned to his senses, Kanda began pounding into him without mercy, and while the pace was rougher than the last time, the sex itself was definitely better. Each thrust sent shockwaves of pleasure through Allen's body as Kanda's cock rammed relentlessly into that sensitive spot that made his vision go white. And although he was just learning to actively participate and not just lie there and take it, Allen seemed to know exactly where and how to touch Kanda to intensify the pleasure he was feeling.

They came in unison, and for that one moment, it felt like they were on the same page with their relationship and pending parenthood. In that moment, they felt like they understood each other completely and were actually going to be able to make their marriage work. And even as the high faded and they moved so that their bodies weren't touching quite so intimately, that feeling lingered. If they could connect like that during sex, there was no reason why they couldn't someday connect like that on everything else.

To Kanda's surprise, Allen spoke up and broke the silence between them rather than opting to just pass out after his third orgasm of the night. "Aren't you going to kiss me good night?"

The question was just as startling as the fact that he had spoken. "I thought you didn't like it when I kissed you."

The Moyashi was only silent for a moment before he spoke again, and even though his voice was quiet, Kanda recognized the sincerity in the words. "I don't like being kissed awake in the morning, but I do like the ones at night."

"Really?" It took a lot of effort to contain his excitement and make the inquiry sound simply curious. Kanda was ecstatic to learn that Allen actually liked being kissed.

Allen shrugged as nonchalantly as he could, trying to make his next admission seem as mundane as he possibly could. "They make me feel loved, and while I'm still on the fence about you being the one loving me, I like feeling that way."

Much like Allen expected, Kanda laughed in response, but he wasn't laughing at him, he was relieved. Kanda never would have guessed that his kisses made the Moyashi feel loved, but that was all the more reason to do it. He leaned in and kissed him chastely before pulling the blankets over them both. "Goodnight, Moyashi. I love you."

Allen didn't reply, but he did snuggle closer into the samurai's arms, and that was better than any verbal response he could have given.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Thanks for the reads, reviews, favorites, and follows! They mean a lot!

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Even after everything that had happened between them the night before, Allen still expected to wake up in the infirmary with a bleeding hole and the inability to walk. So when his still sleepy eyes opened to reveal that he was still in Kanda's bedroom, he was suddenly wide awake. His stomach and inner thighs were covered with something dry, yet sticky, and utterly disgusting, but his legs worked just fine and the pain in his hole could actually be described more as a dull ache rather than a pain. He was actually feeling pretty good.

Until the nausea hit him and he found himself scrambling for the toilet to relieve his latest wave of morning sickness.

Kanda was momentarily startled when Allen suddenly bolted from the bed, but he knew why the boy had fled, so he was mostly just disappointed that his time watching the Moyashi sleep had been interrupted. Ever since they had gotten married, watching Allen sleep had become one of Kanda's favorite pastimes, and he often found himself skipping parts of his morning routine to take in the sight of Allen looking so rested and peaceful; seeing the Moyashi like that was more soothing than hours of meditation. They had been married for four weeks and the night before was the first time that Allen had smiled in their bedroom while he was awake; the happy expressions were usually reserved for dreams or when he was faking happiness because other people were around. This morning, the sleeping Moyashi had looked especially happy, and Kanda desperately hoped that the sex last night had helped him overcome his bitterness towards their current predicament. But right now, he had more pressing concerns.

The samurai followed his husband into the bathroom, the vomiting making it easy to ignore the Moyashi's naked form and actually focus on comforting the boy. Because until Allen himself broached the subject and confirmed that he did in fact want more sex, Kanda was going to do everything in his power to keep things chaste between them. So he focused on keeping the Moyashi's hair out of his face and ignored the delicious way the boy's bare ass stuck out while he was kneeling like that.

Dizzy and tired after violently losing the contents of his stomach, Allen numbly let the hands on his shoulders guide him away from the toilet. He didn't know where he was being led, but the coherent part of his brain processed that those hands were his husband's hands and he knew that Kanda was only looking out for him, so he wasn't worried. The cold water of the shower shocked him back into alertness, his surprised yelp earning him a light chuckle from the samurai, but the water streaming down his body felt too good for him to be upset.

And it felt even better once it was warm.

Allen made no effort to move and just stood in place, taking in the feeling of the water streaming down his body. The lack of movement earned him a light chuckle from his husband before Kanda kissed him once, gently on the forehead. "You'll feel better once you get yourself clean, Moyashi."

Allen nodded numbly, knowing that a shower really would help him feel better, but his understanding faded into confusion when Kanda didn't leave his side. Instead, the samurai grabbed the nearest washcloth and began wiping down his body himself. Those rough, strong hands were caring and gentle as he wiped away the mess covering Allen's stomach, and Allen could only stand there in shock. Kanda wasn't just cleaning him, he was cleaning up the mess that their activities from the night before had left behind.

Of all the ways Kanda had tried to show him love in the past month, this simple action had the greatest impact. Any worries that Allen might have had about being abandoned now that they had had sex were completely gone. Kanda was clearly not going anywhere. And that was how Allen found his mouth opening and personal things spilling out. "I meant what I said last night. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to try to learn to love you."

Kanda remained silent, focusing on getting Allen completely cleaned up before acknowledging the statement. "I know. And it means a lot to me. I am thrilled that you no longer want to divorce me. But at the same time..." He sighed heavily, finally looking up to face Allen. "We've been talking about our feelings a lot lately, so I'll try to make this quick. There is no pressure for you to love me any time soon. Just work at your own pace, and let it happen. I want you to love me, and I want you to want to have sex with me, but-"

Allen interjected at that. "If sex continues to be like it was last night, I have absolutely no problems with continuing to do it."

The sentiment was touching, but Kanda couldn't help scoffing. "I really hope that sex isn't like last night's ever again."

The scared looked on Allen's face made him sigh; the Moyashi clearly hadn't understood the comment. "Last night's sex should just be the starting point. Sex should get better every time we do it, not stay the same."

Allen's silver eyes widened in understanding, and Kanda kissed him once, chastely on the lips, before continuing with his original train of thought. "Anyway, the point was that even though I want those things from you, I want your feelings to be real and lasting, so I want you to take your time. You've only got one deadline, and that's for you to love our baby by the time you hold it in your arms for the first time. The rest can wait. Understand?"

Allen remained silent, mulling over Kanda's words thoroughly before he voiced his confusion. "I think so?"

The reaction made Kanda chuckle. "What don't you get, Moyashi?"

Allen shook his head, his wet hair flinging water droplets onto his face. "I don't know. It's just weird to me that you want me to love the baby first. I-"

Silencing the boy the best way he knew how, Kanda cut him off with a kiss. "It's not about order, Allen. I want you to love both of us. But while you can take your time learning to love me, loving the baby is something you should do before it's born."

"Oh." It was clear from the way he said the word that he didn't really get it.

Kanda placed his hand against the Moyashi's stomach, gently cupping the slight bump that was pushing out from the rest of his body. The boy was just starting to show, but what was showing was gorgeous. "This little boy or girl is something you should treasure. I can wait, but the sooner you love our child, the better."

Allen looked down, intending to push Kanda's hand away, but instead, he got his first real look at his pregnant belly. "Dear god, I've gotten fat."

The comment earned him a flicked ear. But Kanda didn't stop there. He grabbed Allen's wrists and pinned him to the shower wall, practically growling as he got in the Moyashi's face. "No. You do not get to call yourself fat. The only reason you're showing this early is because you're too skinny. The baby has nowhere to go but out. You'd have to gain sixty pounds before you could even remotely be considered fat, and you'll have the baby before you ever reach that point. You are not fat, and you're never going to be fat, so there is absolutely no need for you to be self-conscious about your body."

Allen made a half-hearted attempt to pull away. He was angry over the things Kanda was saying, but at the same time, there was something about the way the samurai looked that made him not want to actually escape. The passion in Kanda's eyes was new, and seeing him show his emotions like that was incredibly arousing. "You don't know what you're talking about, Bakanda."

Kanda clicked his tongue at the way the boy blushed and looked away, wondering what was going through his head to suddenly make him embarrassed like that. He leaned in and kissed Allen's exposed throat, thinking that it would get a response out of him, but instead, Allen let out a soft moan and leaned into the touch. Kanda had no clue what he had said to turn the Moyashi on, but he wasn't about to protest the change in his behavior.

The kiss became a hickey, adding yet another mark to the already marked neck, and before it was over, Allen had completely abandoned the pretense that he wasn't aroused. Lips met and hips began grinding against each other, and the moment Allen's hands were released, he tangled them into Kanda's wet hair while the samurai's fingers went straight to his ass. The sex that followed was quick yet passionate, with both young men reaching their climax before the water of the shower could run cold.

After they pulled apart, Allen slumped against the shower wall in resignation. "I can't believe I just did that. I only slept with you last night so that you and Lenalee would finally stop pestering me about it. But now we've had sex three times and it's not even a day later! Why did you have to be right about sex?"

Kanda chuckled lightly but let the Moyashi rant. While it hurt to learn that the consent from the night before had not come from a desire for sex, it was much more amusing watching Allen get himself worked up, so worrying was unnecessary. Besides, the sex just now had definitely happened because the Moyashi wanted sex. He nudged the boy away from the wall and back under the stream of water. "Look at yourself, Moyashi. I just got you clean and now you've gone and made another mess."

The comment earned him a punched shoulder. "It's your own fault, Bakanda."

Choosing not to argue, Kanda kissed the boy and tousled his hair before grabbing the discarded washcloth and starting to clean him up again. "Out of curiosity, what did I say?"

"Nothing."

Not realizing that that was the actual answer to his question, Kanda continued to prod. "Come on, Moyashi. I want to know what I said to turn you on like that so I can use it again later."

Allen didn't want to give Kanda any ammunition, but at the same time, he desperately wanted to see the repressed samurai become more expressive with his emotions. "It wasn't what you said. It was the look on your face when you said it. You've given me a lot of crap in the past for smiling when I'm not happy, but you hide your emotions even more than I do. It was nice to see your feelings reach your face for a change."

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The next few days passed surprisingly well for Allen. It could have been that Lenalee was finally leaving him alone now that Kanda knew that she knew about their situation, but Allen knew in his heart that that wasn't why everything seemed so calm. He was just as stressed and anxious as he usually was, but now that he was actually sleeping _with_ Kanda instead of sleeping _beside_ him, he had an outlet for those feelings. Talking helped, but nothing wiped away his worries like an orgasm did.

It bothered him that they were having sex so frequently, but true to his word, Kanda wasn't raping him. Even now that he had consented to being in a sexual relationship, Kanda still backed off if Allen wasn't in the mood. And it was simultaneously irritating and touching that the samurai was being respectful.

The man's personality seemed to have done a complete 180 in the last few weeks. He had even started being nice to Allen in public. Fortunately no one had noticed yet, but it was only a matter of time before everyone found out that they were married; though that was definitely going to be sooner rather than later at the rate that Allen's belly was growing. And Allen was terrified of having to tell people that he was pregnant.

Which was why he only ever stayed in the cafeteria long enough to eat his food and was currently hiding out in an unused lounge. If he was at headquarters, he was doing everything he could to hide from people.

Allen looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and his stomach immediately dropped at what he saw. An overwhelming sense of dread filled his body and he had to fight the urge to run for his life.

Standing just inside the doorway, blocking the only exit, was General Teidoll.

Normally the sight of the old artist would have been a welcome sight, as the general regarded Allen like his own apprentice, but one look at Teidoll had told Allen that he knew _everything_. He knew that Allen and Kanda had gotten married, and he knew that Allen was pregnant with Kanda's child, but worst of all, he knew that Allen wasn't in love with the samurai. Allen had never seen the general look angry before, and it was terrifying to see him that way now.

Swallowing hard, Allen put on his most flawless smile and faced Teidoll. "Hello, general. When did you get back?"

The coldness in the man's voice was harsh compared to the warmth he usually exuded. "Why don't we skip the formalities, Mr. Walker, and you can tell me what game you're playing with my son."

Once again, Allen had to beat down the urge to flee; it was far better to face Teidoll in private now than risk having the general corner him later in a public place. "There is no game. I'm not messing with him and I'm not intentionally screwing up his life. We were drugged into sleeping together and I got pregnant. Social convention says that I have to be married to the baby's father, so we got married. That's all there is to it. I had no choice in the matter."

It wasn't at all surprising that his words did not have an impact on the angry artist. "And what about _his_ choices? Doesn't he get a say in-?"

That pissed Allen off more than a little and he had to struggle to remain calm. "We're in this mess _because_ of his choices. He proposed when I told him I was pregnant. If he didn't want to get married, we wouldn't have had to get married."

"Are you really still on that, Moyashi?" Ignoring Teidoll, Kanda pushed past him and stood in front of Allen, trying to remain collected in the face of the Moyashi's bitterness and not show his disappointment. "I thought you said that you weren't mad at me for that."

Allen took the hand Kanda offered, letting the samurai pull him to his feet and into a hug. He may not have wanted the embrace, but as soon as he was wrapped in his husband's arms, he felt safe and comfortable. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at _him_ for implying that I somehow trapped you into this. He-"

The hug may not have changed, but even with his face buried in Kanda's chest, Allen could still tell that he'd lost the samurai's attention. Kanda immediately glared at his mentor, using his hold on Allen to keep himself from physically lashing out. "You better not have said anything rude to the Moyashi. I just finally got him calmed down enough that he's willing to give our marriage a chance, and I do not need you scaring him off before he's able to do so."

Teidoll opened his mouth to chide his apprentice, but as he did so, a realization hit him that cut right through his outrage. "Did you just stand up for another person?"

The general burst into happy tears, causing a chill to run down Kanda's spine. He very nearly bolted from the room, but it was at that moment that Allen finally chose to return his hug, and the feeling of the Moyashi's arms wrapping around his waist was incredibly soothing; Allen wasn't trying to keep him from running away, he was trying to comfort him. The whispered words the boy spoke next almost made Kanda laugh. "He may be annoying, but this will be a piece of cake compared to what dealing with Cross would have been like."

"That may be true, but it doesn't make this any easier." Even though he hid it well, Kanda saw how sad Allen got at the mention of his lost mentor, so he quickly changed the subject. He scowled levelly at Teidoll and forcefully cut off the man's incoherent babbling. "Just ask your questions so that we can get this over with, dammit."

It took Teidoll a moment to collect himself, but when he did, he reacted differently than the young men expected. He faced Kanda calmly and spoke like a rational adult. "My questions are all for Mr. Walker, and I get the feeling that _you're_ not going to like my questions and I'm not going to like _his_ answers. So maybe it's best if we don't go down that road. Instead, why don't you just tell me what happened from the beginning, and don't leave anything out."


End file.
